Lived Experience Forum

[eudemonism]

@Sophia1you just said 'too much going on' (like yourl weren't coping) and i felt for you... - Because sometimes everything gets overwhelming. Sometimes everything brings us to a halt. It's good to have lots of stuff going on, as long as we're managing to keep up with everything (the workload)
Today i thought. I'd love to be working and making good money. In a good job or business. The sense of achievement and reward is indeed wonderful.
The alternative is feeling like, not achieving anything, and doing just that... and that don't make anyone feel good...

[outlander]

@Sophia1

im going to the paddock on monday so ill see if i can find the calf then for you. of an afternoon the cattle are all up towards the main gate so hopefully will get a glimpse then.
i am studying medical terminology at the moment, its quite hard but im enjoying it none the less. its taken me ages to be able to study again. i hope youll be able to take up an interest study once again. if your interested theres a site called 'open2study' and they offer free 6 week interest courses too.

ive recieved most of my results which really just left more questions than answers but gp doesnt seem to care all that much so have put it aside for now

i like the quotes youve picked to share with us too. i find sometimes quotes can say what we are stuggling to find the words for but your right it doesnt alwasy reflect how your feelings. i often post positive things as thats what i like to do even when im suicidal or struggling.

how are you going today?

[Sophia1]

hello @eudemonism

thank goodness you understand my meaning....

I never want to upset you...

I feel so strongly for your struggles...

I do not know how else to express my awareness of your struggles...

I try to encourage at the same time acknowledge your pain..

I think that you are incredibly strong even though at times you think that I do not..

I want you to know that I am aware that I have no answers...no reasoning for what you go through..

I also do not want to sound like I am patronising or demeaning...

trust me I am not...

If I could take your pain away I would...

My family member has declined in his health ...he does not accept this fact...myself and his dad are trying to be there for him in reality...

I wish for you some quality in your life...

I hope that I do not offend you...

your friend Sophia

[Sophia1]

hello @outlander

thank you for taking the time to respond in detail..

Sadly the medical system works on elimination...

Not a comforting process at all....dealing with doctors who sometimes treat us like laboratory results...

I do hope that you push for further answers....this is about you and your health...you do have the right to have answers ..results...

As you can imagine I am a nightmare with questions...I get results though through my anxiety...letting them know that my anxiety does not impair on my understanding...

If your gp does not care let them know that is not good enough...if they are still apathetic...request to see someone else..

this is your health which is so very important...do not be put off by people who cannot think other than in black and white..

sorry to sound so harsh..

you are important outlander...you matter..

wow studying medical terminology...the world is your oyster...opens up all avenues for you...go girl...

I do understand about suicidal thoughts....I am not going to dismiss that comment..

Those thoughts are extremely valid and so often underrated or dismissed...

I have been told by my psychotherapist that people without mind struggles can have fleeting thoughts of suicide...

hmm...

I cannot dispute that fact....possibly is the case...why not...life can be the absolute pits at times....

acknowledging that we feel this way...talking about it...allows us to not feel so alone...

I know of this feeling dearest outlander....I feel for you when you reach that point...

I hate when people underestimate the intensity of such a time...

I want you to know that I will not tell you that I know how you feel ....that is individual...

I will say that you are important in my life....

[outlander]

Hi @Sophia1
What a beautiful post, thank you ❤

Tests and investigations really can be frightening and overwhelming too. In a way even though i know there will be answers.. somewhere.... and even with my questions they dont know maybe something needs to go on the back burner just for a little while till i sort some other things out. Sometimes you know how you just think 'what on earth is going on and where do I start..' thats kinda where i am with my medical things. Right now im not sure i could handle any invasive tests so i guess that ine can just sit for now while i sort out my injuries and worrying about hospitals and dental things... i do totally get what your saying though and i definitely would like some answers as to what is going on ( rather scary too undergoing all these tests and wondering what the outcome might be- which i know you understand too.

Thank you for validating those thoughts and feelings even though they are horrible to have. This life is tough so i do get why others even without mh issues can have doubts about life etc .

Your important to me too my friend, your so kind and caring- a beautiful nature. Im glad that despite what youve gone and are going through that part of you remains in tact 💜💚💙💛

[outlander]

This little hedgehog is to cute not to share with you @Sophia1 i hope these bring a smile even just a little  one..

[eudemonism]

That's the thing @Sophia1 what are my struggles and pain caused by?

[Sophia1]

hello @eudemonism

---

@eudemonism wrote:
That's the thing @Sophia1 what are my struggles and pain caused by?

---

That is an ongoing question that I ask myself..

trying to make sense of how and why...

I have the help of a psychotherapist....exploring how I am on the day in a safe environment..

I hope that you can find some help when you meet your new psychiatrist..next month?

take care

[Adge]

The Tortoise & the hare (you said) @Sophia1

The Tortoise won the race (slow & steady)....

Adge

[eudemonism]

@Sophia1 I've settled down alot in recent weeks, I've got a consistent flow of my social needs, some i have to go out looking for, some comes to my door... all we need is a few good friends and half decent family relationships and good community / community health connections...
I've been focusing on my addictions / bad habits / problem behaviours. I'm starting to take the advice and expectations from the systems side of society seriously...
I've got a few big goals I'm working on, which require finances; and it's always been this way; always planning ahead, always planning for the future...
As long as I'm always trying to reach the bench mark expectations of society, myself, religious influences; friends, family members & myself-i cannot go wrong...
My attitude is getting better everyday, it's not without the odd bad day, and having to accept and live with a whole lot of stuff i cannot control or change-that does indeed get on my nerves/makes life hard...