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Looking after ourselves

Former-Member
Not applicable

How do you believe in love again?

I put it in this forum instead of Something's Not Right, because I genuinely want to know, for the way forward.

 

I mean part of me thinks that love is completely dependent on physical attraction. If love is intrinsic, how am I still single? I would like to think I have something to offer.

 

That said, you see guys that look like they just came out of prison walking around with very pretty girls, and I'm not THAT ugly. Unless I am and I just can't see it. 

 

Kind of related to this question, how do you avoid being intimidated by dating horror stories? 

 

I want to believe in love, because I believe that one of my biggest strengths is my ability to love. 

 

Before my breakup, my friend said "you go all out for her and she doesn't appreciate it." 

 

I want to love someone mutually for once. But it's getting harder to believe in it when you've got such a poor history with other human beings. And everything around you is a reminder of that. 

 

Just hearing the word "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" feels like an insult. That's not me. I would be a sucker for love if I believed it was real.

32 REPLIES 32

Re: How do you believe in love again?

@ first i have no idea where this reply will end up. im new, have a brain injury and know more about flying the space shuttle than sending a kite, sorry to make you a test subject. i think you really have to love yourself first. then yes its unfortunate that lots of woman like the bad boy types. i used to look in the singles adds in the northern star and most the priorities where for tall, job, financually independent etc, etc. i never once saw an add that said i want a plain guy that drives a garbage truck and most imortant, is a pound puppy that wont bash me. but when you stop looking, suddenley the sun comes out from behind the clouds and there she is. in school i always chased the short chubby plain  janes they had the biggest hearts, theyre not spoilt in love,  and in winter, theirs the savings in heating costs.  life is not fair, and everyone is looking for someone that doesnt exist, but if some one with brain dammadge autism and looks like a walking bus accident can find love, you will too. im looking too and you have to kiss a lot of toads before you get a princess but you just have too take a new stratagy. i found putting an add in the papper works because im way to shy to approach girls but if you can keep a lass laughing you might land a lady and when you do, worship her like shes a god....which of coarse they are. you take good care of you and i hope your dream. tonys

Re: How do you believe in love again?

Hi there @tonys,

Great to meet you, and welcome to the forums 😊

I noticed your insightful (and cheeky) response here to a former member, so you might not get a response from them. That said, I'm going to tag a member who I think you might get along with, @TAB, because something tells me you might share a similar sense of humour.

Re: How do you believe in love again?

@tonys yeah that post was like 2 years old? Well Done for your post though. Perhaps someone could show you around here? @Rhye .. ping .. pong.. Morning thread can be a spot to say Hi or just look at main page to see current posts no matter what thread they are in

Re: How do you believe in love again?

@Rhye thanks for that . yes i found that i have to sort my animals into personality types. the pigs and dog have a sence of humour and the head rooster definantley does not. i do have a funny way of seeing the world but im always well intentioned, so if you have another nut case there, please send them my way. stay safe and warm. tonys

Re: How do you believe in love again?

I like that analogy @tonys, the world can resemble Orwell's Animal Farm at times!

It's interesting you use the term "nut case". I understand the meaning in this case is derived from having an off the wall sense of humour, which I share, I wonder how others in the community feel about about the term. I know the LGBTQIA+ community have re-appropriated the word "queer", and many find it empowering to do so, wonder if this is the same. 

What do you think @tonys,
and @Appleblossom @Clawde @TAB @chibam @Shaz51 @StuF @Flying_Hams @hanami 

@tonys if you haven't checked it out already we have a welcome thread here, and a good morning thread here if you want to get amongst it 😊 I'm partial to the music thread here too.

Re: How do you believe in love again?

Great question @Rhye about the term nutcase! I instantly laugh about it because growing up my mum used to say 'we're all nutcases here'. Then I know it's perhaps not a great thing to say anymore like saying when things are really busy that thing are 'crazy' or 'insane'. That said there is a movement of people who have taken back the term 'mad'. Mad in America is a book that makes for interesting reading. So yes, that begs the question, could we take back the term 'nutcase'? I know there would be some people who say no way but others who would say yes. Very interested to hear other perspectives.

 

Interesting read about 'mad' https://www.sbs.com.au/programs/how-mad-are-you/article/2018/10/09/why-reclaiming-mad-makes-sense-me... 

Re: How do you believe in love again?

Yeah Im not sure @Rhye @tonys  maybe its okay between people or on here. 
I think MH advocacy is way behind other groups . Its also fundamentally Different in some ways as a lot of it is to do with aspiring to be 'normal' or seem normal or fit in w normal society. 
not like lbgt etc its the other way round .. like society has to fit in w Them 

Re: How do you believe in love again?

@TAB, I agree that it's probably one of those things we can use amongst those of us who have lived experience, but I might choose to use a more empowered term with those that don't because, well, stigma and all that.

What is doubly interesting is this aspiring to be "normal" or fit in – what is normal? Who decides these parameters? That's what I love about these forums, there is no such thing as "normal", everyone is free to simply be.



Re: How do you believe in love again?

Oh yeah @hanami, great link you've shared and point you make here. I will have to do a search for the How 'Mad' Are You? show on SBS.

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