Lived Experience Forum

[HopefulWarrior]

not sure if i'm puttting this post in the right section

but have just been wondering if others experience a relutance or distrust of "good days"

not wanting to talk about with treatment team for a fear of them thinking - yeah cool shes fixed?

it's something that i continue to struggle with. have spoken to team about it and they assure me that i can keep seeing them for as long as i want - but in prepping for my appts (i'm a big list writter) i always feel the need to balance the good with the bad.....

anyone else experience something similar?

[NatureLover]

Hi @HopefulWarrior , for a large part of my life I've been scared about the good days. But it wasn't because my treatment team might think I'm fixed, as I reckon they realise that people go up and down. It was more that I felt I wasn't allowed to be happy, due to an emotionally abusive childhood.

It has taken many years to start trusting that I was allowed to have good and happy days and that I wasn't going to be punished for having them. That fear of punishment is still inside me, but it has less effect as the years go on thankfully. 

I think it's fine to balance the good with the bad when preparing notes for your treatment team. They probably wouldn't expect it all to be good anyway, for anyone, even themselves. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @HopefulWarrior .

I don't have many good days, not lately and not that I've  noticed anyway.

[HopefulWarrior]

@musicfanatic - i've been there. i feel your darkness and understand that's a hard place to be. but there is hope. trust in that.

[HopefulWarrior]

yes @NatureLover agree with you that team are'nt expecting it to be all hunkydory. not sure why but i've struggled for a long time justifing my need to get help - not feeling worthy of it I suppose. this was also at the same time, needing the space to vent and feel validated having family that honestly could not see my struggles. (didn't know how to handle I think - so ignored)

i'm happy to hear that you have made peace, or at least can connect more fully with the good days. I look forward to that as time goes on.

[Former-Member]

Thank you, I appreciate that. It's hard lately. Atleast I have a good Psychiatrist though, that's all. GP is useless, just says speak to him @HopefulWarrior 

[NatureLover]

@HopefulWarrior I'm sorry to hear your family ignored your troubles. That's very painful. No wonder you felt invalidated and had to fight to get the help you deserve.

Also, if you've found a good treatment team, it's natural you'd want to hold onto them. I hope you grow to feel more confident that you deserve the professional support and can come to accept your good days too.

[Calmblueocean]

@HopefulWarrior . Someone once said to be kind to myself. To me that means many things. I try to find joy in even the littlest things. The sun will always rise in the morning to a new day and if its a good day , embrace it. Your team will be there if you need them and if you are having good days thats great. I hope you have many more because i am sure you deserve those precious good days. Don't be too hard on yourself.

[HopefulWarrior]

thank you - finding joy in the little things - great advice. have a lovely weekend

[Calmblueocean]

You have a good weekend too @HopefulWarrior .  If you are lucky enough to get one of thoses big blue sky days take note of the beautiful contrast the green grey eucalyptus trees make against the blue sky.  Always makes me smile. Thats one of the little things. They are free . Doesn't cost anything to enjoy it.