Lived Experience Forum

[Anastasia]

Funny I had a session next week but can't really afford so cancelled and then said oh things are ok so March should be fine. Haha but not really @Emelia8 

[Emelia8]

Done @Anastasia 😉💕👍

I agree that 'never' would be far more reassuring than 'usually'😳

Em 💞

[Anastasia]

Thank you @Emelia8 

🙏🤗🌷☀️💛🌸🌺🌼🌻🌹💐💞

I better go and check on my boy. His anxiety is through the roof too so perhaps a walk to take in the surrounds if it's not too hot? Biggest gentlest hugs and thank you for being you. So very grateful xox

[Emelia8]

Goodness, I'm quite overwhelmed by all the supportive posts here since I posted of my distress on Thursday.  In fact I don't know where to start in responding to you all.  There are several which really need a full response, so for now I will just say thank you to all of you.  And in a day or two when I am hopefully feeling more on top of things, and have a little more time, I will go back and respond to some of you more fully.

So for now, just a brief update.  As you know, I was badly triggered on Thursday during my radiation therapy session.  After which I was not at all good for the rest of that day and for the 2 days since.  I was thankfully able to get myself home after managing to calm myself enough to drive, after a couple of hours.

And with hubby away last week, I was at home on my own.  This is not good for me when triggered. I was home on my own when I was assaulted. So I guess with the February anniversary just around the corner, it added to my deep seated feelings of vulnerability.

So I went into a self protection cocoon for a couple of days, in order to stay as safe as I could.  For me, that means I essentially shut down ... mentally, physically and emotionally.  I was in bed for those 2 days, hiding under my doona and with my furbaby by my side to help me stay grounded. But it was a couple of nights with no sleep due to extreme hyper vigilance and hyper arousal. 

Hubby got home yesterday ... thus necessarily forcing me out of my temporary little sanctuary.  He was not well while away and had a couple of very bad days.  So I'm worried about him now while I'll be staying at the hospital accommodation from Tues-Fri.  His friend will be staying with him, but it's still not ideal.  Oh well, I'm hoping he improves over the next couple of days. 

Once again I apologise for not responding to your many posts.  I just wasn't capable of safely being here for a couple of days.  And I will likely be a bit quiet now, but I hope to respond properly to most of you over the coming days.

Back to my daily radiation therapy tomorrow.  I am due to see the radiation nurse afterwards.  Thank you all for your advice on the male technician.  I will speak to the nurse about it tomorrow and see what she can do.  I travel up and back tomorrow, but will be staying at the hospital accommodation from Tues night until Friday morning.

@Anastasia @Snowie @Former-Member @greenpea @Bow @WIP @Eve7 @outlander @Mellysmellyelly @Peri @NatureLover @Owlunar @Former-Member @Former-Member @Lee82 @Sans911 @Shaz51 @Maggie @Clawde @BlueBay @Exoplanet  and anyone else I may have missed.  I value and appreciate each one of you.  Thank you for your wonderful support.

Emelia  🌸🙏💕

[outlander]

@Emelia8 💜
Sending love and hugs
Bit short on words atm but am i sitting with you

[Former-Member]

Hi @Emelia8 sounds like a torrid couple of days shutting down yet no sleep 😟 which I hope has eased. Good hubby is back I guess, maybe he'll be happier in his own environment. Don't worry about not responding personally here atm, I don't think anyone expects more than you're doing already.
All the best tomorrow, kind staff, minimal pain, less stress, accom & travel mercies 🙏 Deep breaths lovely lady. Drink lots of tea ☕☕☕🤗💕

[Snowie]

@Emelia8 

You don't need to respond to us. I am just glad that you feel safe enough here to talk to us. 

Please remember that we are here for you hun, regardless of what is happening for you.

I hope tomorrow goes ok and that you are able to talk to the nurse after you session.

Lots of love and hugs 💜💜

[WIP]

Sorry for reaching out earlier, I hadn't read this post of your completely.

stay safe my friend, good luck with your radiation tomorrow, I'll be there with you in support.

I hope you manage to get some restful sleep tonight xx

💖🐾💖

[greenpea]

@Emelia8  Oh sweetheart I missed your posts about your radiation therapy, the anniversary and the male technician. I dont know where I was but I missed it all 😮 ! I love you so much and apologise for not being there for you. I will endeavour to try and be more aware with what is happening with you. Love peaxxx

[greenpea]

@Emelia8  Em