Lived Experience Forum

[NatureLover]

@Emelia8  I'm sorry to read that things are so bad...and I see you weren't online yesterday or this morning...which means you may not be coping... Just wanted to say am thinking of you and sending many wishes and hugs 💜

[NatureLover]

Lovely to see you, @outlander  and @Eve7 ...I hope you are both gertting by and things are improving.. 💛 💙

[Anastasia]

Thank you @NatureLover 

I'm sorry things haven't been good, happy you're back 🤗❤️

The rest of the week was difficult with my colleague taking more time off and deciding to work from home. I'm glad it's over.

At this stage I'm going in Monday and Thursday next week and that's it. The rest I'll work from home. My boss is travelling so won't need me as such. 

I'll get my results Tuesday from my tests this week.

What are your plans for today?

Hello @Maggie I'm hearing you and sending love and hugs 💞

Hello everyone else here 👋❣️

[Maggie]

@NatureLover @Anastasia 💕💕💕💕

[NatureLover]

@Anastasia  I'm sorry the rest of your week was difficult...and I was sorry to read your Worry Room post this morning, from yesterday. I so wish things would ease for you! I hope the crisis is over and that you are coping OK...? I hope the other people in the crisis are OK too...

I'm trying to focus on cleaning up the house for a rental inspection due soon.

I hope this coming week goes better for you, and that your test results help on Tuesday... Thinking of you and sending 💙 and hugs.

[NatureLover]

@Emelia8  good to see you on the suppport button, which means you feel at least OK to be online here...am sorry to read you had a bad trigger on Thursday, and a crisis...how are things now? And when is your husband home from his trip?

Sending you firm hugs and 💜

[Emelia8]

Good morning @NatureLover ... sorry to read of your couple of bad days.  Are you feeling better now?

Yes I was badly triggered during my radiation therapy session on Thursday morning.  Not good at all.

And with hubby away at the time, I was at home on my own.  Not good for me when triggered, especially at this time of year with February just around the corner.  I went into a self protection cocoon for a couple of days, in order to stay as safe as I could.  But it was a couple of nights of no sleep at all due to extreme hypervigilance and hyperarousal. 

Hubby got home yesterday ... thus necessarily forcing me out of my little safe place sanctuary.  He was not well while away and had a couple of very bad days himself.  So I'm worried about him now for when I will be staying at the hospital accommodation from Tues-Fri.  His friend will be staying with him, but its still not ideal.  Oh well, I'm hoping he improves over the next couple of days.  How am I now?  Hmmmmm ... not great, but I'm still here.

Have you had much chance to get out and about for your daily walks?  I think its been hot down your way, does that mean you tend to go walking early and/or later, rather than in the heat of the day?  

Thanks for the hugs and the 💜 ... I very much appreciate both.  And the same to you also.

@Maggie ... I was so sorry to read of the death of one of your brothers last year.  How devastating for you that you did not know until now.  I am wondering if it was the brother you have spoken of here a few times ... although I had thought you were in touch with him on a fairly regular basis, so am leaning towards it being another brother.  I'm sure you will have a vast range of mixed feelings about it all.  I wish there was something I could say.  Sending you love and hugs.

Emelia 💞

[NatureLover]

Thanks for your reply, I'm glad you feel up to writing as it means you're feeling a bit better...that's good @Emelia8 ...

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@Emelia8 wrote:

I went into a self protection cocoon for a couple of days, in order to stay as safe as I could.  But it was a couple of nights of no sleep at all due to extreme hypervigilance and hyperarousal. 

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I'm sorry to hear about 2 nights of no sleep 😞 I think the self protection was good, although I don't know a lot about what that involves for you. I know things aren't great 😞 and I hope they improve for you...

Yes, I feel like I'm functioning, thanks. It's been raining here for a couple of days, so walks have been a quick dash home a few times. 🙂 Yes, when it's very hot I like to go out early and then after dinner too. I'm looking forward to next week at work as the bullying lady, the CEO's wife, is away on holiday. She has been treating me and everyone better since the start of the new year, a New Year's resolution I think, but I don't expect it to last. She has actually caused some staff members to leave, so it's not just me that has trouble with her. 

I really hope that you aren't triggered next week at radiation therapy. Will you have WiFi at your accommodation? I hope so. 

💜 

[Emelia8]

Yes @NatureLover  you're right ... I am feeling better than I was, for sure.

For me, when I am badly triggered ... a self protection cocoon involves shutting down mentally, physically and emotionally.  I was in bed for the best part of 2 days, hiding under my doona and with my furbaby by my side to help me stay as grounded as possible.  I have slowly emerged from that state yesterday in time for hubby's return home.

Yes I had read that your CEOs wife has been on her best behaviour since the new year.  For whatever reason that is, I hope that it continues. 

I'm not sure if the hospital accommodation has WiFi, but I have mobile data which I will be able to use while there. I have mixed feelings about being away from home.  It will be nice to not have to do everything at home for a few days.  But if I get triggered again, then its not ideal to be in a strange place on my own and in what is essentially a small city.  Cities are a trigger for me as well, and I am feeling very vulnerable at present. 😔  But its best I dont drive every day, because I am starting to feel that I could be a danger to others on the road.

Glad you feel as though you are a functioning human being once more.  The rain you've been getting is good ... we all need rain.  And I do love walking in the rain.  Anyway, I hope you continue to do all you can to keep functioning in the best way possible.

Emelia 💞

[NatureLover]

@Emelia8  I'm glad that your 2 days in bed, shutting down, helped, and that you had the space to do it when needed. 

I am hoping that you find that the staying away from home works well...it sounds like it could go either way. But it's sensible to not drive every day if you don't feel you are safe driving. 

Thanks for your good wishes...take care... 💜