01-01-2019 12:33 PM
Glad you can see your way through to a better time.
I have never had the protection of a father. Good fathers usually bring up their children with social consciences. It was not till I was teaching that I saw how that worked. I have been lucky to know some good families.
We all need to get fitter. lol .. Possibly you can read the 2 legged shark's minds??
The tag on the end of your post is sad, but true. The world should be a better place. We are more prosperous, but ... the spirit of generosity is not in the air, even around christmas time.
Just having my son suddenly deciding he wants everything spik and span without having done any tidying or housework for a couple of years. It is good if he comes to value it and work for it, but I had relaxed my housekeeping style to getting along with his mess and I am feeling pushed around in my kitchen and a bit like the rug pulled from under me, which was a favourite game of his dads.
I had just spent a few days going through old rock and pop songs, catching up on the aspects of childhood I never had. Mostly others pushed their opinions on me, and I tried not to rock any boats. Working out sheet music I have and figuring out which songs and singers I actually like, working on some possible projects. It had improved my mood, til my son just did a little number. Sigh ... Oh well ..
DId you know The Eagles are coming in March?
02-01-2019 01:30 AM
Sad to hear what you missed out on @Appleblossom
I was always there for our kids but in a lot of ways also not there as for a very long time I was either recovering from various surgeries or sedated heavily with painkillers, often both.
I think when we put others before ourselves all the time we are not only harming ourselves but them as well as they come to expect it. Can make them selfish or lack respect.
Still, a very difficult habit to change. (We can check out but we can never leave.)
Have some of the Eagles music. (packed away at the moment)
Did not know they were visiting.
Hoping to get a break from sorting the farm and go camping soon, will be interesting.
02-01-2019 04:02 PM
I am working with even finer precision on the differences between care of the self and other.
I did not know what I missed out on so did not really suffer FOMO, but ignorance was not bliss.
It is taken a life time to understand others' assumptions and to put a lot of 2 and 2s together.
Enjoy camping. Have got a decent campbed?
03-01-2019 01:30 AM
Hearing you Appleblossom.
We each have things only we can truly feel but we each know how hard it is for us.
You had no father, I am trying to undo damage of a similar, yet different, sort.
She does have a father to help. We are getting there.
This is the second time I have written this reply, first post failed so this one is shorter.
Went swimming today got sunburned but had a great day.
Looked at more camping gear as well.
Now have two good swags, brand name Wanderer which is funny.
Have extra mattresses in mine for my back.
Not sure how I will go but have to keep going, keep living.
Day by day.
03-01-2019 08:31 AM
I like funny coincidences. I have an appointment today at the same location where I took my girls for their infant immunisations.
A seriously ill parent is difficult for a child to watch. My son was damaged by my inability to hide all my neck pain and its consequences. I wished he would have been able to have more fun, but he is quite serious, which is also quite beautiful in him.
I can put my dad in my little mental bubble and idealise him and did not experience actually knowing him in the REAL.
Yep the sun is real scorcher these days. Careful today will be hotter. (well it is here not sure where you are.)
12-01-2019 01:56 AM - edited 12-01-2019 01:59 AM
I have not been well, struggling a lot, so didn't see this reply until now.
Was swimming in Bass straight. Get burned easily there.
Definitely hard on the kids when you are in pain and they can't help you.
Hard when there is psychological pain as well.
I am slowly dying inside.
There are no words.
13-01-2019 01:10 AM
Just checking in.
(will be away tomorrow)
I wish I could be more help on the forum, more positive, but I am simply existing at the moment. Trying not to drag others down with me.
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