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Senior Contributor

Dark Skies


Feeling a little lost at the moment so found my way here.

Just looking on the net for pain management groups, forums or basically anyone to talk to.


I had a lumber spine fusion about ten years ago, (grade 2 spondylolisthesis) surgery was successful, however there is still a degree of constant back pain. Have not been free from pain since then or two years prior to the op. (18 mnth waiting list before surgery) Absolute 10/10 pain despite meds.

Was put on massive doses of medication that has destroyed my memory.

 Also had very bad gall stones at the same time, untreated for 19 years, leading to pancreatitis (ICU - 4 days  on Ketamine) which has added to the pain with a very sensitive pancreas.

 Following this I have recently had surgery on a bulged disk in my neck, this surgery wasn’t as successful.

I now have CRPS in both feet, spreading to my legs, seeing a neurologist and doing tests to confirm this.

Definitely have neuropathy, also have high sugar from the damaged pancreas so awaiting the final tests for full diagnosis, however all symptoms point toward CRPS as suggested by my podiatrist.

 Now have a lot of pain, can’t walk very far, need crutches to go to the supermarket, and still need regular rest breaks to do so, have put the farm up for sale and sold the machinery. Have been a farmer for 32 years so big change.


Not feeling great, hurting a lot, average pain level (7.5 – 8), 24 – 7.  Feet burning all the time.

Also suffering extreem stress, other issues.


Don’t know what to do next, just reaching out.

Hope I haven’t been too long winded.


Thank you


Tagged 3/5/20 @Sherry 

588 REPLIES 588
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Re: Dark Skies

Hi and welcome to the forums @Darkskies - im so sorry to hear of how much pain and physical difficulties that you live with every day. It would make everything very difficult. I'm glad that you have reached out here, there are many members who struggle with constant pain and difficult physical issues.
Take care

Re: Dark Skies

Thanks @Former-Member

Definately a hard road, no breaks.

Look forward to talking, sharing, though I do get a bit flat at times and lots of mood swings.

Unforunartely as they say getting out and doing things helps with depression however I can't do that. I write instead when I feel up to it. Have writen an epic fantasy book and am onto the third draft, something I can still do thankfully.

Having someone to talk to means a lot.

Thanks again



Re: Dark Skies

Hello @Wanderer

A very warm welcome to the forums, it is nice to meet you

It sounds like you are continually having to deal with a great amount of pain and find it difficult to get out and do things which makes your depression even more intense, all of that is a lot to be trying to manage so I am glad you are reaching out on the forums for some much needed extra support now.

You mentioned you like to write and you are currently writing an epic fantasy book, that is such a great thing to be doing, there is actually a Writing as a form of therapy thread you might find interesting.

We also have another thread for you to Introduce Yourself, which can be a nice way of getting to know other forum members.

I look forward to getting to know you better



Re: Dark Skies

It's good to have someone to talk to,

Hello @Lunar and thank you for your reply.

Just had a fruit drink and my sugar is rising so a little blury at the moment, nothing serious though.

Wen't out to watch our son load the truck with hay yesterday and walked around a little, paid for it big time last night, bad idea but it did help me feel a little better even if it reminded me how incapacitated I am.

My book is 240,000 words so far and will probably be split into two or three parts, have lots of people waiting for it to be finished though I think I will miss it when I do. Guess there will be sequels. Have another eleven started and waiting, just hope the pain doesn't shut me down. It will be a big part of my life now.

Will check out the other threads, thanks for those, still working out how things work here so a little slow. Have a poem I will post about my pain, my life, called Dark Skies, hence the name of this thread.

Unfortunately all this is overshadowed; In a dark place at the moment but managing. My parents, brother and sister are there for me and on the phone regurlarly but distance is a problem. This forum is what I needed and I'm sure many others find help here as well.

I wake each morning (when I sleep) to a nightmare and go to bed each night in fear of the morning. On the positive side I am determined to get through it all.

Thank you for listening.

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Re: Dark Skies

Hi again @Wanderer (if you put and @ before someones user name they will be 'tagged' and get a notification that you've mentioned them Smiley Happy
I like to read fantasy (when i have time/concentraton/motivation) growing up my favourite author was david eddings.. have reread his books many times. So I think its amazing that you have written a book and glad that it gives you a small 'escape' to turn to. I find that the forums also provided me with a bit of a 'social escape in the past when i feel isolated or too trapped in my head...
Glad to see you here and using the forums

Re: Dark Skies

Hello @Former-Member I was wondering what the @ was all about, thanks for the heads up.

At the moment I am enjoying the new work from R A Salvatore though it is a little dark. Just read Child of a Mad God.

I have always written stories and poetry but this is the first full size book. Have another eleven started so plenty to go on with though I think I will focus on sequels to my first one set in a world I have already created.

Agree the forum helps to escape, I do feel very lonely most of the time and spend a lot of days waiting for the sun to go down and come up.

Sometimes my insomnia is so bad I remain fully awake for up to four days, becomes a little scary at that point. On average I get 3 to 4 hrs sleep a night when I am sleeping well but only that much per week when I am not.

The forum has been great.



Re: Dark Skies

Hello again @Luna the @ sign has just been pointed out to me by @Former-Member so a quick hullo and thank you for your reply.

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Re: Dark Skies

sleep issues make everything else really hard. I also have times when i cant sleep - i can funciton ok so long as im getting around 4 hours a night but under that too much and i start to get very low/depressed. But the only meds that help that and make me sleep.. leave me feeling so awful the next day that I cant function enough to run my life... no win really sometimes. But i am about to shut down electronics and start to try and wind down, hope you get some sleep tonight, take care @Wanderer

Re: Dark Skies

I hate meds, they destroyed my life.

Probably no sleep tonight.

Good night @Former-Member

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