Lived Experience Forum

[Tay]

I'm finding it so difficult to motivate myself to do anything - what I'm struggling with is that during isolation I have no reason to be motivated - there's nothing wrong with watching tv because I can't leave the house - I'm finding it's actually feeding my fears - I suffer from agoraphobia - fear of leaving my home  - now I'm being encouraged to not leave my home

[Jo-anneJoy]

Ironic isn't it? @Tay 

Who would have guessed that agoraphobia would be trending.....and us phobes are

experts at doing isolation.

When I first became agoraphobia it was pre-internet, didn't have a home computer, there was no online shopping or anything. I'm so glad that I recovered before the world wide web got going, as I would have been so enabled to stay in my comfort zone.

I'm a bit of a sci-fi fantasy nerd and I used to recite the Bene Gesserit litany (Dune by Frank Herbert) to get past the front gate - 

I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain.

What are you watching on tv? 

[Tortoiseshell]

Hey @Tay, that sounds really tough. It makes a lot of sense it would be even hard to manage your agoraphobia right now. How are you travelling today? 

 @Jo-anneJoy that's an amazing quote! 

[NatureLover]

@Tay I can relate. I have agoraphobia too and I'm getting entirely too comfortable staying home. I am meant to be at the supermarket right now as it's gone 8am, but I don't want to leave the house. I'm also struggling with motivation. It sucks, pretty much, as my house is a mess and I need to be tidying it. 

I don't know what the answer is for us, other than that dreaded word 'discipline'. I hope you can be kind to yourself - I guess that applies to me too. If there's nothing pressing that you should be doing, can you just enjoy yourself watching TV? Are you able to go out for food, or is that too hard? Sending kind thoughts to you at this time. 

[Tay]

It's difficult to be kind to yourself when others are experiencing such tragic times - my heart goes out to the families who have lost their loved but can't attend a funeral. The police officers last night - I'm crying for their families 

[Tay]

I'm ok - I have no right to complain - always someone worse off

[Tay]

I spoke to my psychologist about this -she said I shouldn't feel guilty about staying at home because by law we have to. But it is only feeding my fear and telling me it's ok. 

This whole situation, I feel, is not helping me but is making me feel bad. Encouraging me to accept my fears are ok 

[Tay]

I do go to the supermarket for food which is weird coz that's where I experienced my first ever panic attack

[Tay]

Being kind to ourselves is the most important thing now -however I feel guilty when I know others are worse off than me 

[NatureLover]

@Tay I hope you won't let any guilt stop you from being kind to yourself.

I don't know any answers, but think that we are just going to have to live with the fact that our agoraphobia might get a little worse while we are all in lockdown. And then we will have to work on ourselves more to get ourselves going out again when lockdown is lifted. I talked to a friend who doesn't have agoraphobia and she also said she was not wanting to go out really at all.

I'm glad you can still go out for food...hopefully you don't have any panic attacks while there.