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Re: My son is struggling really hard...

Glad to hear the visit went well @Janey, and you're being very strong. It's not easy to see our loved ones in a hospital at any stage of their care, but it sounds like he has support in there, which is good Heart 

Re: My son is struggling really hard...

Hi, I have to write my feeling out again...  

my son called yesterday and asked me to take him out to 2 hours leave. So I said yes, I will be there soon.  But he called my name instead of “mum” in the phone, That is the sign he wants to keep a distance from me. Anyway, when I got there, he game me a hug and we went out.  He was pretty quiet and just wanted to sit at picnic table in park. He wanted to borrow my ipad to search for rental property. He said he need his own place. He didn’t want to talk to me but he said “it’s karma.” when something dropped from tree above us onto my phone screen and frightened me.  He said “I should be good. Because I have done many bad things” when I asked to tell me what bad things I did... he said “you know all”

anyway we didn’t talk much and two hours past and he said he will walk back to hospital.  When we went back to hospital, his nurse didn’t keep his lunch so he asked me to get something to eat for him. So I did. He thanked me and invited to sit in garden with him in hospital. I was going to tell him after he finish eating how he ends up back in hospital on Wednesday.  I wanted to enjoy lunch first before we talk which he did.  But after he finish eating, he started asking me who open mouth to case manager. He said “he was just having bad days and suddenly police came and get me back here! I haven’t seen him for weeks. Somebody must told case manager! Is that you? Dad? John (who lives in my house)? “ I said I did. I said I was worried but I told case manager that he does not need to go back to hospital. But he rang me back and told me police is on the way to pick you up suddenly.  I asked him to stop but ...”   

as you can imagine, he was very very angry with me and said many things but I can not remember.  Only this keep repeating in my head. 

“ you pretend to help me but you ruin my life”

maybe that’s true.  I pretend to be strong but I keep making a mistakes and not helping him.,, i don’t have a clue any more. I was scared what is going happen next. Maybe I just wanted to talked to someone and discuss what to do.  I didn’t want to send him hospital. His father doesn’t want to hear. He said to me just say our son is doing good or bad. I told him that he is getting worse on Monday.... he said he is going to come and see him but he didn’t.  I think it was my weakness.  I can not ask any friend what to do. I felt I can not involve any friends nor my daughter in this situation. Too intense.  So end up talking to his case manager.  I only wanted to him to know what happening. I said to him I want to see how he goes... but I feel he made decision because it’s going to be long weekend and he is going away next week.  I wish he didn’t. But can’t change now.  

My apology for my English might have many mistakes as It’s my second language... and plus my ipad is playing up sometimes. 

Re: My son is struggling really hard...

sending you lots of tender hugs @Janey my friend

we are here for you anytime

 

cat cuddles.jpg

 

 

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