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kk3
Casual Contributor

Re: Introduce yourself here

@CheerBear @Maggie @Ali11 @eth thanks and to everyone for your support and kindness. Life seems to worsen instead of improve, or when you think things are starting to pick up, yet another hurdle comes up. 

I'm also trying to be there and support a couple mates that also has depression, one had recently lost her dad as well. 

I try to remember back to how I got through loosing my own dad but that time back then for months was a blur. Even now I still ecexpe to see him if I head back to mum's. 

Any tips with supporting someone? And also looking after yourself? 

 

7 REPLIES 7

Re: Introduce yourself here

Hi @kk3,

I've just moved your post from the 'Introduce yourself here' discussion to its own discussion as it seemed you wanted to continue talking and getting advice. I have realised I could have let you know you can start your own thread too and let you do this yourself. I apologise I didn't offer you the chance to do this.

I hope this thread will be easier to find for people who want to support you around this really important issue of how to support others when we're struggling. Feel free to change the subject of the discussion too to reflect what you want. 

Take care,

Tortoiseshell 

 

 

Re: Introduce yourself here

Hey @kk3.

You must really care about your friends to be supporting them at the moment with everything you have going on yourself. I imagine that being there for your friend who lost their dad could be especially difficult (though I might be wrong). Are your friends aware of how you're travelling and what you've been through too?

While there's so much that's great about being around people we care about, sometimes when things are really tough for me I find it hard to support others and can quite quickly run myself empty. One of the lessons I've learned (often the hard way and I'm still learning it) is that when I'm going through a hard time I need to really monitor myself and make sure I'm not taking too much on. I also think self-care is essential and I know I need to watch how that's going for me and try and take time to look after myself too. I try and remember that it's OK to say no too. I can find it really tricky to take time out to look after myself, but I think I find it trickier to run myself down and crash.

How are you finding self-care is going for you at the moment?

The other night a discussion on looking after yourself while supporting others was held here on the forum. It might be helpful to have a read through it if you'd like, and hear how others manage it.

Good to 'see' you again 🙂

Re: Introduce yourself here

@kk3  There's nothing I could add to what @CheerBear  has already said. Just letting you know I'm hearing you. Please take care of you.

Re: Introduce yourself here

@Tortoiseshell  it would be very helpful if you named or linked to the new thread you have moved @kk3 's post to.

Hearing you @kk3 .  I would also highly recommend the discussion @CheerBear posted a link to.  Take care.

Re: Introduce yourself here

I think this is the new thread @eth 🙂

Hope you're going OK today @kk3.

Re: Introduce yourself here

Hi @kk3  just checking in to see how you're going today?   Have been thinking about you.  Eth

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Introduce yourself here

Of cause I've felt that way... like "Some days it's just too hard"
i've had diagnosed MI since the 80s but my first suicide attempt was as a teen (didn't tell anyone, just woke the next day and figured God wanted me alive and went and got my job back).
I struggled after that, did try to get help on off, never quite 'clicking' with any of them, it took another 10yrs, after a miscarriage in a bad (wrong / abusive) relationship broke that i landed in hospital. There was no 'real' family support (though the couldn't see it) I was formerly diagnosed with "Major Depression / Anxiety / BPD / 'learned' neurotic behaviour (sigh 😞). More recent Psychologists have flagged CHILDHOOD 'TRAUMA' with a capital 'T' deemed the BPD 'label' unfavourable - prefer c'PTSD... ... ...
I'm OVER labels. It's only recently (after i lost a child & landed back in hospital) that the DSM finally recognised Complicated GRIEF as impacting mental capacity☹️ I've concluded, as a mere 'consumer' - that 'The MH System' is still in its infancy. But having said that - it has saved my life and relieved some suffering. It's impossible for it to replace the love & belonging & care that should come from family throughout life. Im one of 6 children, every last one of us have MI of some kind (that has severely impacted earning capacity), from Anxiety to p'Schizophrenia diagnosed. Statistically I shouldn't be alive.
Just saying.
EOR
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