Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

Keeping steady @Shaz51 trying not to be hypervigilant as Mr D has stepped down a dose of a supervised discontinuation of one of his meds.

[Shaz51]

hugs @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

@Shaz51

[Owlunar]

Thanks @Shaz51

I have been so concerned about my relatives and not being able to find out anything got to the stage that I had to let go of it - they are - like everyone - entitled to their privacy and I understand this

It took a lot to email my cousin and actually ask but the email he sent back sounded like words my relatives would have said - so however they are they are still with us and I pray they are okay and that time out from the world will help them

Dec

[Owlunar]

@Shaz51is right @Adge - your father can't reject you anymore - you have all the power now

I have been so much better in so many ways since my mother died - and time does fly - it's getting on for four years now and I saw her so frail and helpless and her voice could not longer tear me up - I was able to forgive her and let it go during the next months - 

She can't pick at me any more - and as for rejection - I had walked away from her for the last time and she had so many regrets I could almost see them when she couldn't talk anymore

But letting go - I have been writing about this on a thread called Awareness of Women's Mental Health - but really - it's about self-esteem and the subject of Letting Go of the Past has been the last topic I have started and maybe all of this applies to men as much as women

I will tag you in - it's really interesting that the subject of letting go of the past has come up this week from two or three different places

How do we let go? I brought the subject up but I am on a learning curve - I don't know the answers to my own questions - now that has to be the reason I have started all this

All the best Adge - I care heaps

Dec

[Adge]

That was @Shaz51's father, not mine @Owlunar

My father was not mentioned.

My Dad was the most supportive family member in his last few years - so he is the one I did not wish to lose (he was very scary when I was young).

That left a huge hole that cannot be filled.

The most rejecting one in my family is my mother (who is highly manipulative) - Mum is still alive, although interstate.

Adge

[Owlunar]

Hi @Adge

I am sorry to make such a mistake - but I hear you

Your Dad was scary when you were young but then when he died he left a huge hole - a hole that can't be filled and imo - a hole that need not be filled

I have learned to live around my big hole - hey - just writing this makes me think about those scary sink-holes in England and Florida - they just open and swallow anything handy - I feel myself it's a good idea to know where those holes are and although we can learn to live around them they are there and I find I fall into one of mine now and again - so another thing is to plan for those dark times - hard though

Both my parents have gone now - my Dad - I was close to him and when he died my toxic sister took over her major role in life as a family disrupter - I have no idea what she gets out of this because I have moved myself to a place where she can't get at me but my mother

Yes - my mother was codependent and had huge unreasonable fears. I had a good look at her life with all the resources I had and get the reason she was so narky - reasons are not excuses

Rejecting also - I guess you have been asked why she is that way - that is so hard to answer

It's Saturday afternoon and the heavy over-night and early morning rain has cleared and I hope to take a walk today - it was too hot yesterday - 

It's amazing that the heat in Cairns is dry and in the high 20s was really tolerable - in Melbourne the humidity can cause a physical meltdown - sometimes I feel as if I will turn into a little puddle

Dec

[Shaz51]

hugs @Adge

my uncle who is in hospital has been a wonderful support to me ,

and my FIL was wonderful too but he has passed away now

how is your hernias my friend

[Adge]

Hi @Shaz51

The hernias are not too painful, thanks for asking.

The permanent bulge in my tummy (for the past 3 years) looks like a Beer Belly - when I never drank any beer to get it.

That leaves me feeling yukky about my body - I have no body fat whatsoever, my tummy was flat as a pancake, before the bowel surgeries.

I'm still waiting to hear from the hospital, they said I will get a letter (for Surgeon appointment) soon.

Adge

[Former-Member]

How did you go today @Shaz51