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Something’s not right

Blooden
New Contributor

Anyone been through this?

Greetings!
I'm 20 y'old and diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It's diagnosed after 5-6 years. I always took my pills although 2 years ago I was smoking weed. I felt awesome it was like cure of hatred to myself. And then I smoked synthetic ones about 7-8 times and always had bad trips. I was so scared but I kept smoking. Last time I smoked same thing in 25 May 2013 with a friend I saw 2 of us from a different view it was like a maze. Another friend came in and screamed that my mouth like slipped right side. Really have no clue how to describe it. After since I have been this way. Diagnose was psychosis. And since then I see everything different. I know objects,people etc. I can identify them but it's different. EVERTYHING. Scares me a lot.. Makes my eyes tired. Does not make any sense!! I couldnt look at a person's face at first times. Even my mom!! I was screaming around. Whenever I closed my eyes I could see where I am like in a lightining smoke. They're gone now. But now I am still suffering. I'm so tired of this. I still take my pills. I dont smoke I tried once 2 months ago and everything was flashing. I can't study I can't work just because of this. I'm also in Major depression now.  I have been to MRI and it was all clear. PLEASE, tell me what is it? H"ave you been through this? Do you know anyone? PLEASE. I'm so desperate..

3 REPLIES 3
Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Anyone been through this?

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through something so scary! I don't have any answers for you, but wanted to say hello and welcome to the forums. I know lots of people on here have experienced a lot of different things, but we're all different. I hope someone else has some ideas for you but it might be more important to take advice from your medical team as they will have all of the information available to help you. This place is really supportive of what you're going through emotionally though, i know when i was a inpatient in February this year there were some things happening for me that were scaring me so badly and i didnt know if it was ever going to go away, if it was 'real' or not or what was going on wiht me. 

Hoping that things get better soon for you, but here listening no matter what,

LJ

Re: Anyone been through this?

Hi @Blooden,

 

Welcome to the forums, thanks for sharing your experience. What you have been through definitely sounds scary and disorienting and exhausting.

I haven't been through exactly the same as you but I have had bad psychedelic trips and know how challenging it is to deal with those kinds of distortions even when you are confident that they will end, having the effects lasting in this way, is a whole different level of hard.

Up until very recently I used to smoke quite a lot of pot, and from my reading online it seems that having a bad reaction while on psych meds is not terribly uncommon. And the synthetic pot has a terrible reputation on its own let alone in combination with psych meds.

While I don't know what has happened in your brain specifically I do know that psychedelic drugs can be associated with ongoing flashbacks in some cases basically due to the fact that you have formed new neural pathways and strange connections; this is part of what psychedelic enthusiasts are pursuing, a whole new way of seeing and experiencing reality.  It sounds to me like you have had something similar happen, only it wasn't your intention and the the new way of experiencing things is causing you significant issues and problems.

Have you spoken to you treating psychiatrist about this experience and the lasting effects you are experiencing? They would definitely be an important resource for both in dealing with the effects, understanding them, and potentially treating the symptoms in relation to your main diagnosis.

Re: Anyone been through this?

Hi @Blooden,

 

Thank you for sharing your experience, and to answer your question, 'has anyone else been through this?' the answer is yes most definitely. There are many members on the forums that have gone through similar experiences, so you are never alone.

 

You might find this post an interesting read, and you might be able to connect with some other members who are in the same boat

 

All the best,

 

Zahlia

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