Lived Experience Forum

[GaryR]

I’m depressessed (8 Months) I thought it was lifting. I’m not so sure. I’m lonely and scared

My wife is at work. 

[Eden1919]

That must be hard for you maybe try doing something nice for yourself that is also distracting like watching tv or having a shower or drinking hot chocolate idk whatever works for you. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon sorry I am not much help. 

[Sophia1]

Hello @GaryR

Yes

I get it

[Sophia1]

Do you want to talk ...

Do you want someone to be present who has had and is now feeling that?

[SmilingGecko]

@GaryR I hope you feel better soon Gary. 

I was depressed for 18 months at one stage and never got out of bed except for the bathroom.  It was pretty awful.  Depression can be so lonely, so dark and so engulfing.  My brother-in-law suffered with depression and he had it chronically. 

Even trying to do something for yourself makes you just wish there was the salve of human kindness in that place - someone to hold your hand and comfort you and not endless dispassionate advice!  There are so many misgivings about depression and what it actually is but it can be a living hell.  Nobody understands unless they've had it. 

I hope that you will still keep on reaching out and find new ways to deal with it, there is always new information coming through but I believe depression is caused by a serious loss of some kind - a loss of faith in human nature for example following a deep sequence of tragedies - that is what happened to me.  It did something to me which left an indelible scar with far reaching effects into the future. 

The culprits involved got off the hook - one being caretaken in hospital before she died by a flurry of nurses (basically dying a hero) and the other going onwards and upwards into higher echelons of big business making a fortune and being backed by a protection racket while I am eeking out an existence on a disability pension battling my way through the world. 

Whatever has transpired for you which created the tipping point I want to say sorry for your loss and to say its normal to experience what you are going through after such things going awry in your life.

Keep reaching for those answers, read the latest evidence based adjunct things you can try and most of all know that you are never alone.  Ask to have your needs met and talk with your wife about ways in which you don't feel so isolated and down why she is away - depression is a very alienating influence.

You will feel better once she is back home again.

Sending you sunshine and rainbows! 

[GaryR]

Hi

Thank you for the reply.

I am normally ok with my own company. But this weekend was not to be. My Depression started after losing a Brother like friend and a work colleague both to horrible sudden deaths. Then I nearly drowned in a rip. Then add work issues, marriage issues. Redundancy was a blessing. It wasn’t long enough between jobs for mental healing.
I see a Psychologist joined a men’s group. But still feel lonely. I know I should have reached out to my group for support

Thank you for reaching out to me

Gary

Sent from Gary's iPad

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[GaryR]

I am in a Men’s group and will reach out to them for support.