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How do I help my son

My son is 24 and just started living back home in a van . He was diagnosed ADHD as a child never medicated . Always difficult. Now suffers severe anxiety and depression. Has become aggressive towards me blames me for shit life. . Can't keep a job and won't apply for Centrelink. Doesn't think anything is wrong. How do I help him. It is torture for me as I do not have support like family to help . I don't know where to start  . I have rung community health centres and mental health care and a few others . They just put into someone else who can't help me . 


Re: How do I help my son

Hi @Daph1,

Firstly welcome to the forums, it is great to meet you on here and I hope you find it a supportive and helpful place!

It sounds like you have been the main support for your son for a long time as he has struggled with different diagnoses. That must be really hard at times and especially now when you are concerned about him and he does not feel he needs help. I'm also a bit concerned when you mention that he becomes aggressive towards you. That sounds like a scary experience and I'm wondering if as well as getting extra support on the forums it would be worth calling 1800 RESPECT, they are a national 24/7 helpline that supports people who are dealing with relationships where there is a misuse of power, and they definitely speak to people who are experiencing aggressive behaviour from their adult children. 

I know other forum members can relate to this experience, for a start here is another discussion (a 'closed' one) where members have talked about supporting someone who doesn't want help. It can be so so hard, I hope you find the forums helpful with this tough situation and important questions you're asking about trying to get help. 

Take care,





Re: How do I help my son

Hi @Daph1 and welcome to the forums.  


I hope you have managed to speak to 1800 RESPECT as @Tortoiseshell suggested and they have been able to offer advice and support.


I have adult kids suffering anxiety and depression who occasionally lash out, but your son sounds overwhelming with his personalised anger issues.  @Tortoiseshell is right - you have the right to feel safe.  Please keep reaching out for help and support.


I am saying this as we haven’t received the sort of support we really need yet, and I have to keep reaching out too.  It really sucks.


Our problem is not the kids, although their struggles are difficult too.  It’s my husband, and he is not diagnosed (yet) so no tailored support is available to us (yet).


We walk together here in support of each other.  Please walk with us. You are not alone while you have people who can listen, understand and care, and there will be others here with experience and advice to offer you.

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