Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

My family has been pressuring me to lose weight. 

I am not that badly overweight, but they are acting like I am on my deathbed. One of the most frustrating things they do is hide food from me. 

This morning I came home from a hard night of work, and the eggs I was looking forward to having for breakfast were hidden. Just then, I was starving, having not eaten for six hours, and I thought I would have some toast.

My Mum bought the bread earlier, and she said "don't have too much, that's for tomorrow", implying I could still have some. When I went downstairs, SOMEONE hid the bread. I had to have rice for the third time today, with no chicken or yoghurt. Meanwhile, my sister and my brother bought McDonalds, and they didn't think of asking me if I wanted any.

I often buy food for the family, with my own money, and I am not allowed to have it. There have been times where my sister has bought bread and left it until it went bad, and I had to throw it out. What's the point of buying food if you're not going to eat it?!!

Their obsession with weight, and my own relationship with food, just don't mix. I'm buying some [...] McDonald's.

[Finiks]

Hi @Former-Member 

Sorry to read about your issue with your family. Maybe if they knew some facts about food it might help you with them. For example rice is like eating sugar or so my doc told me once.  Eggs are good for you and starving isn't.  You can eat plenty of food, as long as it's the right stuff.

Just  a thought .

regards

[Gwynn]

Your family's behaviour is disgusting. It's important to eat protein and veggies for each meal for satiety. Would it help if you got in contact with a dietitian service, like the get healthy phone line in NSW, and got some baseline facts about eating a healthy diet that you could throw back in your family's faces? e.g. 'my dietitian says it's important to eat protein and veggies for every main meal'.

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member 

I would be more than slightly furious if anyone picked at me for my weight - and if you don't have diabetes I don't understand why they are hiding your food and making remarks about it - it's rude and unkind of them to do this

I am so sorry you have to endure this kind of behaviour - it's just not right or good behaviour

But if you are living with your family and they hide food etc - it has to be really hard and I don't know what to suggest though seeing a dietician might help with their opinion - eg - hiding eggs is ridiculous

And where could they hide them? I just had that question jump into my head - 

I'm sorry - again - it's just none of their business and is abusive actually

Dec

[Powderfinger]

@Former-Member 

This story/post is heartbreaking. I read it and felt angry and sad at the same time. I agree with @Gwynn @Owlunar 

Your family is behaving terribly, rudely, judgemental, and controlling of you. They DO NOT HAVE ANY RIGHT TO HIDE FOOD FROM YOU. What you choose to eat is nine of their business. 

I'll tell you something. Move the heck out and tell them very firmly to stay out if your business. Start laying some strong boundaries with consequences and follow through. Thus is bullshit how you are living. 

My heart goes out to you. 

Much love and care to you. ♥️💐

[TideisTurning]

Sounds like a really difficult situation to be in @Former-Member. I'm hearing your frustration, and that of @Powderfinger, @Gwynn & @Owlunar about the situation. There are some great suggestions here, though I encourage you to do whatever feels right and best for you in resolving this, whether that be having a talk with your family, getting a professional opinion or facts or something else. 

[Powderfinger]

@Former-Member 

I apologise for telling you what to do. I could have worded it better than I did. I felt angry at the time of writing it and didn't think to watch how I word things. Yes, please do what you feel is right and good for you. 

[CrazyChick]

@Former-Member 

I know what it is like to have family pressuring about weight. It is not nice even if it is well-meaning. Sometimes even the slightest suggestion that I should eat healthier makes me upset. There are times when my mental health is so bad, that eating healthily is low priority.

Let your family know what helps or doesn't help. If you don't feel comfortable telling them, perhaps write it down for them, or ask someone you trust to tell them. For example:

I would like to eat more healthily, and know you would like to help, so I thought I'd make this list of things that help and don't help. It would help if you don't eat foods like McDonalds in front of me. I would like to avoid having softdrinks, so it would help if we don't have any in the house. I would love if you could tempt me with healthy but tasty meals that you also eat, especially at times that I am too tired such as after work. Or at least allow me to cook healthy meals such as eggs.

It doesn't help if you hide foods so I get frustrated and hungry and am unable to eat healthily.

It doesn't help if you make comments about my weight, size, or what I am eating.

I feel like treating myself occasionally to a small amount of less healthy food. It is important that I can do this.

I hope you will work with me and be supportive of how I want to manage my weight and eating.

I found there were just sometimes I exploded and told my family to leave me to make my own choices. Or I said things like "I need my chocolate each day for my mental health". Or sometimes it is just accepting that they do somethings I don't like and it is their problem, it doesn't have to hurt me.

Good luck.