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Something’s not right

destructive
Senior Contributor

On edge

I am having a rough time with bad thoughts slipping back in and it makes me feel sick to my stomach. I have no one to reach out to, not that I would have the guts to anyway. There is part of me that wants to be able to move on with my life but then there is this other, very strong part, that is just done. I’m tired and it’s so hard to fight.

11 REPLIES 11
Razzle
Senior Contributor

Re: On edge

@destructive  I’m hearing every word you’re saying.  I’m at the same place you are, I feel like I’m doing battle with myself and it’s just so exhausting.  

 

I have been seeing a councillor, he assures me that things will get better but I’m not seeing it yet. 

 

I cant offer you advice, I don’t even know how to pull myself out of this hole, just know you are not alone, I’m really feeling for you, I feel for both of us ❤️❤️

Re: On edge

Thanks @Razzle

I didn’t imagine anyone would have any answers, I guess just reaching out to others albeit through a computer.

im sorry you also feel this way.

trying to distract myself with some knitting and Netflix tonight.

Re: On edge

what`s up @destructive HeartHeart

Re: On edge

My heads tormenting me.

just trying to get through the evening.

need to go back to my doc and get some more sleeping pills because sometimes all that gets me through is getting off to sleep before I do anything. But then not sure having them around is good either.

got some bad news about my health this week and need to have some more testing and hospitals/doctors make me more anxious. I think it’s just overwhelm messing with my thoughts

 

Re: On edge

I think it’s just overwhelm messing with my thoughts -- I agree @destructive, it does make it hard , have you got a coping box that might be able to help you or minfulness

I know as the doctors want to send me to a blood specialist which is I am asking why xx

Re: On edge

Not really a good coping box @Shaz51

Got a box with bad things in it which I’m trying to avoid.

knitting kind of is a strategy though I guess. I have a safety plan but some of the stuff I’m meant to do when I’m closest to the edge though I can’t do. Like psychologists made me sign a contract to contact her but I can’t do that at 8.30 at night knowing she has her own life and family. 

Sorry you have medical stuff too. It can be anxiety provoking hey. I hope it’s not too serious

Dx

Re: On edge

sending you hugs @destructive HeartHeart

I have Kidney disease stage 4 with one kidney , also have diabetes and my ferritin is at 1090 and the gp wants to know why my iron is sooo high

my husband has clinical depression, inherited depression , bipolar 11

Knitting sounds good @destructive, what have you made , I cant knit

Re: On edge

Oh no @Shaz51 I really don’t get how life works. Some people just seem to get a raw deal.

i have knitted scarves and baby jumpers and blankets. Tonight I’m working on a baby blanket. I just learnt from YouTube 

Re: On edge

Tonight I’m working on a baby blanket. I just learnt from YouTube -- ohh that is lovely @destructive, you are soo clever Heart

 
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