Lived Experience Forum

[CrazyChick]

I don't know if I am using the correct words to describe how I am feeling. It is a really horrible feeling. I can't stay still. If I try to stay still, especially if I want to go to sleep, my feet and legs buzz with energy and it is unbearable. I try rocking, shaking or otherwise moving my legs, but it is not enough and I need to get up and move around.

Usually I am very tired and want to go to sleep, but I can't because of this feeling. I would do anything to get rid of the feeling so I can go to sleep. But I don't know how. Moving around is only a temporary solution, as it comes back as soon as I stop moving. It is so frustrating.

I have violent thoughts of physically hurting myself in many different ways - just to make this feeling go away. I haven't done any of those things yet, but the feelings get unbearable & I worry that I might try.

I think that I get these feelings more when I change medication dosage, especially if dramatic increase. And anxiety/stress also likely to make feelinh worse. But sometimes these feelings come out-of-the-blue with no obvious trigger.

Because of these feelings I can pace around and can't stay still. Which in some places is seen as inappropriate. I also seem more easily upset, and less rational. Which again can get me in trouble. I do my best to stay calm and "behave" in the way others want me to, but it can be very difficult to sometimes.

Does anyone else have feelings like this? How do you describe to others what it feels like? Do you have any strategies to help calm these feelings?

[anonymouse_]

Hi CrazyChick, anonymouse, moderator here. Sounds like you're going through a very tough time. Have just sent you an email checking in.

[greenpea]

@CrazyChick  Hey CrazyChick just wanted to say I feel for you. I have the opposite problem and can barely stay awake. Have you checked in with your psychiatrist about this? Love greenpeax

[Insomnizombie]

I do the same. And I have the same thoughts. It ends up being a mercy thought more than anything. I end up trying to be as quiet as I can so I don't wake anyone and then become a prisoner to my head. I hope you know your not alone with this.

[Lee82]

Hey @CrazyChick I am so sorry to hear how much you have been struggling. Although I go through the same thing some nights seems like you have been experiencing this type of agitation on an extreme level. Just wondering if you could get in contact with you psychologist or psychiatrist today? 
just wanted to say you are not alone and we are all here for you. Lee82