Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

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[Former-Member]

I hear you, am in the same boat really... I also find weekends feel lonely because everyone else seems to have plans etc...I also have no family and very few friends... None nearby
Hope you find a nice activity for yourself today

[Fancy_Pants]

Hi @Former-Member

It sounds like you have tried to put yourself out there in lots of different ways and on lots of occassions, it is really brave to keep pushing.  

I am sorry to hear that you have had such bad experiences... although those cant be removed I hope that through the forum and building connections with other members you are helped to feel less alone and more supported. They are a wonderful bunch of people who genuinely care and always have the best of intentions 

if your interested we do a sunday funday thread here where we try and create a community weekend by sharing what activity / thought / home improvement we are doing and more importantly checking in on one another. hopefully you can come by 🙂

[Appleblossom]

Its a great idea to start this thread. @Former-Member I noticed you have been around on the forum for 10 months, but dropped off a bit. Thats a while.  I liked some of the old posts and threads and still trawl through them occasionally.

I dont believe in advice .. my style is "I" messages or philosophising ... I try not to overgeneralise but probably a few slip through.

My Sunday is quiet ... like my life ... if it is not quiet I get stressed and agitated and the pressure goes straight to my neck then the bulging cervical discs play havoc with my spinal nerves and I am flat on my back. 

I just walked to the postbox for snailmail .. to post my licence back to civic compliance and send off for some music for a holiday I am planning in January.

The street was buzzing with kids and a family was having a party in a driveway. So I know what you mean. In the past I would have been triggered or awkward about it but not today. It can remind me of my big gaping wounds ... so I work hard to cover it up with sticky tape.

I have also put a lot of effort into friendship and family and have not been well rewarded for my pains ... I hear you that you are well experienced with many therapuetic styles.

I do not believe being alone is necessarily a sign of poor social skills or being popular a sign of good skills .. I am trying to love my loner more .. thats me. I have had dreadful loneliness ... too .

I am glad you are posting again @Former-Member .

[PeppiPatty]

Me too
@Former-Member
Question .... Is it just me that chose a name on Sane forums that needs changing ???
Ja47yr

Love your name.
It breaks my heart a little when I read your.post because ..... It's so so prevelent
@Suess can you do what I've been trying to do for over a month now and write your personal values. There's many good online things how to write your values.
It may give you a clearer direction ??
I don't have good concentration at mo.
A moderator sent me a long email how to show on the forums how to write here and if you press here it goes the the site but no concentration right now to read ( thank you though )

[MoonGal]

Hey @PeppiPatty - i love your name change - i did see on another post you were talking about changing it. Glad to know who ja47yr is 'now' because I like your posts and thoughtfulness.

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @MoonGal

I so like your name ! I think the saying is 'the best revenge is to live well ,'
But I like how you wrote it but also do you think we could change it so it doesn't sound rough ?
Do you get lonely on weekends ?
I read somewhere that everyone needs one good friend but sometimes that's really hard to get

[MoonGal]

Hey @Former-Member, I hear ya re the ramping up of anxiety for days after a social event. I am at home alone during working hours - I am extremely fortunate to have a life partner who has a high tolerance for crazy.  I fill my days with dog-mothering, reading and hanging out on line. I am SO glad I have found this community here, it has really added to my life and I feel a lot less lonely.

I am so glad you are here, and your articulate and thoughtful posts have been really great to read today (I only came across your posts for the first time today). 

I am so socially awkward! When I was working, i was always 100% task focussed and that helped, I was also a manager, and had to create a sense of team, and that was a challenge. I hate talking about 'small talk', can't stand sports so 'footy' was out, I just found ways to put aside my aversion for small talk and learned to ask the kinds of questions I hear other people ask.... (with genuine listening) to the answers.
"How are you?" (hate that one!)
"What did you do on the weekend?",
"Did you hear about xyz on the news?"...

People find people who ask questions (and concentrate on the answers) very interesting, because most folk like talking about them selves...

I like this tip I go from the old 12 step meetings I used to go to...

"To have friends I have to be a friend".

[MoonGal]

Hi @PeppiPatty - ah! I have paraphrased the saying, never mind. I like it either way it's said. I have a beautiful life partner to hang out with on the weeknights and weekends, and a lovely greyhound adopted doggie-daughter. Also usually a foster or holidat home stay doggit too. I love dog-comany as much as people company so I don't feel lonely. In fact I have become so comfortable in my own company that I squirm if I had to hand out with anyone else ('cept my partner).

[Former-Member]

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