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Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

me too @Carmello 

and also the expectations of some family members for me

@nashy 

Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

Wanting to be more involved in the care of your loved one but time and money limiting how much you can help. 

Also wanting the best outcomes for them 

Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

@Shaz51  Thanks heaps for sharing. Totally, work makes sense a driver of guilt, that's one I didn't consider. And interesting mention of family saying certain things, incrediby frustrating as when we're overloaded with carer duties.. it's less judgement and more support that we require, I am sorry to hear this.  Do you have a way to disengage when dealing with the families comments on top of carer duties?

Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

Especially when we can't meet these expectations for whatever reason.

Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

Hey there @au_gust , welcome and thank you so much for sharing Heart

 

Having negative feelings toward them, this is a very painful one incredibly afflicting, however is most definitely quite common. Do you get much respite yourself as a mental health carer? Or time to reflect? We're all here with you, please know you're not alone in that emotion. 🙂 

@Allanah  Welcome, thanks heaps for joining us tonight. You mentioned being more involved, what would more involvement look like for you? Hearing you for sure.

 

@Carmello Definitely makes sense. I suppose though without that time to engage with yourself, and with your own joy, your running on a half-tank. That time for yourself, that self-care is so imperative for not only your wellbeing but your loved ones Heart I know sometimes it must not feel that way though.

Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

I feel friends and family do not understand the complexities of the person I am caring for and think I am too involved or too supportive . Let them manage themselves approach . Difficult to keep my own comfortable boundaries then. 

Hard to know how much to support sometimes .

Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

I hear you on the complexities, it's probably easy for them to make some basic judgements at a distance without having the insight you do. @Carmello Boundary setting takes time, and it is important that above everything else they work for you. Thanks for posting this, appreciate you sharing your story with us Heart

Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

very true @au_gust , @Allanah 

 

Do you have a way to disengage when dealing with the families comments on top of carer duties? --- I will agree usually and then I will work it out for myself , it is hard at times

but at this time might change in the future is ( that I and my mum have arranged what and how much she needs  and wants me to do ) @nashy 

 

 

Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

Time is flying quickly tonight 😄 

 

On to Question number two crew! @Carmello  @au_gust  @Allanah  @Shaz51  And everyone else joining in..

 

Now that we have discussed guilt, let's consider the symptoms it creates. I know for me guilt then has a knock on effect of frustration and sometimes anger, which I then have to manage on top of the initial task at hand (usually by a decent session at the gym with the boxing bag Smiley Very Happy!).

 

Considering this - what emotions do you tend to notice come up for you after the initial guilt?

 

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Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

me too @au_gust 

@nashy 

 

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