Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Gemima]

As a mum of a 20 year old child with schizophrenia my heart aches. I see the pain and distant vague look in the eyes of my son.
Who's thoughts are getting more and more messy in his head hit with more and more medication, and the doc saying that the medication may not be able to completely help. Well you Mose well rip out my heart.
I am so terrified of my sons future. Planted over face book is the suicide of a 45 year old who committed suicide because of the pain he endured inside his head my I don't blame him. I wish that my son never got this fucken horrible disease and there's nothing I can do to get rid of it. Nothing!!! He used to be such a different person now his lost scared. He doesn't say much because he doesn't want to talk about it. But I wish he could just share everything to me. I feel helpless and just cry.
People don't understand I feel isolated and can't talk to anyone. I'd love to be able to sit with a professor and ask a million questions
can my sons brain be zapped with laser to treat schizophrenia?!?!!! Will it ever leave him
Lost and broken I am

[Sissy88]

@Gemima, hi I read your cry for help and I don't know a great deal about your sons disorder, but I know what it's like to watch some one you love suffer and not know where to turn to for help, that I completely understand.

So tell me please, who besides the doctors are the organisations you contact for help?

Do the doctors and support groups advice or guide you? What sort of support if any do have?

I see a psychologist, over the years I have found I need to speak to an impartial human being, "apps" will never do it for me. Also I learned that speaking with people who had lived through what your experiencing or who still are living in a similar situation to your own are the best help, who else can better understand than those who suffer like you do.

I really feel for you, I know what it's like to cry out for help and not know where to turn, we will help you on here

[Former-Member]

Hi @Gemima

First let me assure you that you are not alone and that there are supports available to you as a carer. Here online there is a thread that @Grasshopper3 started in the "our stories" thread where other carers of their sons with Sz share experiences and help each other.

Can I ask what state you are in and I will give you some links to carer supports where you will find understanding, counseling and education.

With regard to education, under the mental health act act he treating team has obligations to give carer information. Write down you questions and in the first instance, contact your sons case worker and request an appt to see either them or pdoc to discuss.

Here are some links that might help you:

@patientpatient recommended this short 15 min talk gives 4 good strategies to help when MI enters family. His son has Sz.

https://youtu.be/NRO0-JXuFMY

This Qld mental health resources for carers website might also help you.

http://mhr4c.com.au/coping-strategies/the-leap-approach/


60 tips for helping people who have schizophrenia from schizophrenia.com

http://www.schizophrenia.com/family/60tip.html

Darcy

[Lunar]

Hello @Gemima

That sounds extremely tough, I can't imagine how hard it is for you to see your son not coping well with his schizophrenia, it is a shame he has not yet found treatment that has allowed him to get better as many with schiozphrenia do manage to live a happy life. The best you can do is look after yourself in all of this as you can't control your son and his recovery at this point, but you can work on ways to support him without burning yourself out.

It would be good if you could talk to someone and get some counselling right now through Mental Health Carers Australia:

Mental Health Carers AUS

1300 554 660

http://www.mentalhealthcarersaustralia.org.au/about-us/

This might be the most you can do for right now by talking to someone so you do not feel as alone in all of this, thinking of you,

Lunar

[Gemima]

I have a supportive husband, at the moment I have a back injury 6 weeks in and I'm also looking after my 75 year old father who has just had a knee replacement. I'm just feeling overwhelmed by giving to everyone and the expectations on me, I'm in pain physically and emotionally at the moment that's all.
What I do wrong is not give time to myself and practice self care because of the demands I am in at the moment.
I have seen my phsychologist over the years
I went to the doctor on Monday he was hopeless I sat in the car thinking What just happened??? What I have learnt breathe, meditation, listen to music, go out with my friends and keep my thinking in the present zone and avoid the seven negative ways to think, just in a really shit place at the moment and I don't want is sound like a whining person to everyone and yes only other people know who are going through the same thing

[Grasshopper3]

Hi @Gemima

Giving you a cyber hug Gemima, sometimes I feel like crashing too... but we have to pick ourselves up and moving right along. We need to support the people suffering from MI in our family. If we don't... no one else will. Its not easy doing it when you are in pain yourself, give yourself plenty of 'me' time and say politely 'no' if the demands are too much for you. You're doing a marvelous job! Looking after your dad too, with your sore back and all....

There is only one 'you' - be kind to yourself.

((HUGS))

[Gemima]

My son is doing all the right things he has given up so much of his life to be better and I'm not trying to control him but support him,
The medication he has has worked for years but for some reason his broad casting thoughts again. You know the public system just fails people we see a different phychiatrist every time, he hates it having to repeat his illness every time, it's empty, I hate going there mum I repeat the whole history and the doc goes we have made progress here, bullshit we have my thought happen I feel different stupid and I hate talking about it.
The doc don't understand at all, it makes me angry '
I agree we can't afford a private psychologist but that's what I need to do

[Gemima]

❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️

[Gemima]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Former-Member]

@Gemima
I ended up putting a chart together of all of Mr Darcy's symptoms, treatments, hospitalisations, response to treatments. It is in a table and concise. Probably has a little too much drug info (each time a script was filled but at the time I wanted to show med compliance). It has possibly turned out to be pivotal in his diagnosis but has saved a lot of explaining with the different psychiatrists he has seen. He lost a lot of memory with ECT and the docs would have Buckleys of getting a history from him now.

Whilst my chart was focussed solely on the medical side as diagnosis has been a challenge, in keeping with the ranzcp guidelines on the management of Sz the social and general medical side of things could also be included ie peer support, weight management, education, family interventions.

I will be adding general health screen chart related to psych (ie how often bloods, ECG, weight needs to be done) to ensure adequate monitoring takes place.

Not sure if this would be of help in your sons case.

Darcy