Lived Experience Forum

[CheerBear]

Good to hear you had some OK sleep @Mazarita. I had a tossy turny one without a lot of sleep, though maybe a little more in total than usual

Really glad for you that yesterday was OK. Sounds like a full self-care day - so good 😊

I had a dodgy day yesterday with what felt like everyone here (in my offline life) piling stuff on to me with no thought. I felt like an emotional punching bag maybe. That sounds terrible and I think it was a combination of me being tired and there being a lot happening for everyone, but it felt especially difficult to manage yesterday. But I enjoyed topic Tuesday and got some housework done so there was good in my day.

Hows today looking for you?

[Mazarita]

Hugs again for your yesterday, @CheerBear. What was the Topic Tuesday. I seem to have missed that one.

Today I'm hoping to go to art group, after having a much needed shower. Although I've been better with the showering lately, it's one of the first things that goes out the window when I get into strife with my mental health.

Also, I've finally been given permission by my physio to do some longer walks (not just between buses), so I'm planning on walking the 2km to the mental health centre where the art group is held. That's the max the physio wants me to do on the flat. Have a couple of errands to do while I'm there in the local shopping village. After that home again for mostly quiet afternoon/evening.

Physio has also said I'm allowed to take one walk on the beach per week again. Tides aren't right for it just now (always go at low tide for ease of walking). But the weekend looks better. Looking forward to that, as it feels like it's been a very long while since I was there.

What's happening in your world today, as far as you can see it at this early time?

What's on for you today?

[CheerBear]

Thanks @Mazarita. The Topic Tuesday was over on the carers forum on parenting and some people from PANDA were special guests. It was interesting to stop and really think about what life was like when my babies were newborns.

I was wondering whether you might get to art group today and am pleased for you that it sounds you may. It sounds like it can be really enjoyable for you. Do you know what you're doing there this week? And huge yay for beach walks again! That's awesome!

Today I'm off to visit person with other person. They had a last minute change of plans again yesterday and were moved to hospital rather than rehab for another procedure. Hopefully they'll get to rehab tomorrow now. That's about all I have on I think.

[Mazarita]

Thanks, @CheerBear. We never know what's on the menu at art group until we get there. 

Cool to hear about the Topic Tuesday on the Carers Forum. Sounds really helpful with PANDA there.

Sorry to hear the move to rehab for your person has been delayed by another procedure. That would be hard for them, but good that the delay sounds like it will be only one day (though I know from experience a day in hospital can feel like an eternity). Glad there's nothing else that is pressing on you at this stage.

How is your other person, the one that is staying with you, holding up during this time? Was it them that you were feeling like a punching bag with?

[CheerBear]

It was them and my new friend @Mazarita. Other person isn't coping so well at the moment and has a lot of worry about life after hospital and what it means for them. I've been a shoulder and ears for stress and tears a lot and that's been totally fine most of the time, but yesterday I couldn't do it. I had a lot of my own stuff to juggle in my head and with the kids, and it was bit too much.

Friend is having a bad time too and doing a lot of venting, in sometimes a bit of an aggressive way which doesnt feel great either. I'm struggling to support them as it seems they need hours of talking about the same stuff over and over again. I feel a switch off now and that's not great for him or me.

Blah! Sorry. It was sucky yesterday.

[Mazarita]

Oh, that does sound hard, @CheerBear. Pity that new friend is adding to the weight of what's going on for you and other loved ones at this time. The aggression part sounds particularly not good, and if it was me I might be inclined to send him away for a while to be helped by his other supports if possible. Hours and hours of talking about the same stuff, not what you need right now, or perhaps ever. Hoping there's some other way that can be handled for now and the future. More hugs. 

[CheerBear]

Thanks for understanding @Mazarita. The sometimes aggressive stuff is a red flag for me and is never going to feel good. I've tried to encourage extra support but it is much easier and better feeling for them I think to vent to me than to do something else about it. I think a big problem I have is seeing what's going on for them both and feeling with them and getting it, but not having the time or energy to always cope well with it. It's not forever though and I'm trying to put boundaries in place and look after me too. And I haven't crashed yet which is a bonus 😉 Thank you again for listening. I really appreciate it.

It's funny weather here this morning. We had rain last night so it's very wet but it is still pretty warm. Reminds me a little of where you are.

[Mazarita]

Any aggression would be a red flag for me too, @CheerBear, and I haven't gone through what you have with the DV trauma.

Forgive me if I'm saying too much about it, but I really think it's not helpful at all for you to have to listen to him venting. I used to do that a lot in past relationships, and actually it wasn't helpful to me either, and tended to get my loved one enmeshed in my turbulent feelings, thereby making it easier for me to lash out at them when there wasn't a fix for the problem I was obsessing about. I'd get angry at them for not fixing it for me. A bad road to travel. I really think they have to try to find someone else to support them with that stuff, preferably a professional who might have more developed skills in circumventing the out loud ruminating, and might have some techniques he can work on to help himself.

Anyway, I'm feeling a bit grrrr towards him on your behalf.

To get away from that yucky subject, sounds like you have a humid morning happening. That is like here, though the rain is not that common really. Just had an unusual length of time with the rain a little while ago. Lately it's been mostly sunny again, as is more the norm. Warming up a fair bit as it does at this time of year. Wearing my strappy dresses almost all the time already.

Birds have just started up here. Blue light in the sky. That lovely time of day. 

[CheerBear]

I really appreciate hearing your perspective and experience there @Mazarita and totally understand where you're coming from. I'll keep working on those sometimes difficult to enforce (for want of a better word) boundaries.

Have you had any decent storms lately where you are? From memory this time of the year had some impressive skies often. Yay for strappy dresses! I am slowly building a collection of dresses, something I hadn't owned until the last year or so. I'm learning how to wear them when it is windy and imagine myself looking kind of ridiculous sometimes with my clumsy awkwardness haha.

We have pink tinged clouds here. Traffic building also telling me that the morning is moving along.

[Mazarita]

There were some storms maybe a couple of weeks ago, @CheerBear. They're pretty dramatic here but for some reason they mostly tend to go around us rather than hit right on top of us. That's good because I get a bit scared in storms. Used to love them and even fantasised about getting on top of a mountain top and dancing in a storm at one point. That was a fairly manic point though, lol.

When I first came up this way over 16 years ago, I was expecting a more monsoonal kind of weather, with afternoon storms just about every day. But it's really not been like that most of the time I've been here. The storms are only occasional really. Would be different a bit further north, I imagine. Skies are not that dramatic here for the most part. Mostly it's one day sunny, and the next day sunny.

I hear you on wearing dresses in the wind. I don't think there is a graceful way of trying to keep your dress down, lol.

Pink tinged clouds sound beautiful.