I didn't know exactly which thread was the best fit for my post so am posting here because this is a continuation of my story.
My son and I have been on a long journey in search of a solution for his ongoing “treatment resistant” depression and social anxiety. After having been down a long path, which has included meds, inpatient stays and psychotherapy, nothing has provided any lasting improvement. He remains relatively non-functioning, is classified as having a disability, and is now receiving funding from the Govt. in a program which has afforded him an Outreach Support Officer via a disability service provider. He is negative about this program because in his words “it only deals with the external and my problems are internal”.
Recently he decided that he wants to get off meds and is on a slow reduction. One of his meds has been eliminated and the other is scheduled to be halved in another month. So far, so good. His mood has remained stable and he appears more engaged and light hearted.
The past year has seen my son mature significantly and in conjunction with this our mother/son relationship has strengthened and grown in a healthy way. My steadfast support and open non-judgmental acceptance appears to have paid off. We have an open communication which allows us to talk about anything and everything and I believe this has helped him tremendously. We have both decided that we need a holiday (years overdue) and have set our sights on Bali - a place we have visited many times and that holds a special place in our hearts. However, this is not going to be a sun-basking, resort style holiday in the tourist traps, but rather a healing holiday in the mountains where we intend to immerse ourselves in peaceful serenity and engage in every spiritual and holistic modality we can get our hands on. Think meditation, massages, water purification, shamanic healing, nature walks, etc, etc. We are both really looking forward to this and believe that this could help my son “internally”.
In the course of my googling for this holiday (particularly to find shamanic healers), I stumbled across the most amazing film/documentary called “Crazywise”. I’ve done another post for this here https://arafminsw.saneforums.org/t5/What-s-new-services-research/bd-p/forum-004 and urge you to read it with a view to also watch this incredible documentary film about mental illness. This documentary reflects exactly how both my son and I feel, and why we are both being drawn towards a more holistic approach in treating his MI.
Despite the incredible hardships that we have both faced my world has become richer in so many ways. My son’s MI has opened me up to a world that I was previously disconnected from. That of human emotions. It has taught me the importance of being emotionally present, consistently available, calm and attuned to our children. I have been forced to not only develop a relationship with him, but also with myself. I am now able to be supportive and nurturing to both my son, and to myself, and have been gifted with insights and wisdom that have expanded my mind and self-awareness in a positive way. If not for his MI I would not have been given the opportunity to really get to know my son, or myself. As difficult as this journey has been there is definitely an upside that is difficult to put into words. I feel so humbled and grateful that my son is allowing me to guide him and be a loving presence in his world, and that this entire battle with his MI has made me a better person and gifted me with emotional intelligence.
It is so easy to be caught in the maelstrom of fear and confusion when dealing with a loved one afflicted by MI but we need to remember that our role as a carer; our strength, love and unwaivering support, is vitally important even if we don't have solutions.
Janna ❤️
Call us on 0477 453 264
Murdoch University Clinic (Ages 18+) - Ph: 0477 453 264
Emergency, police & ambulance (24 Hrs)
Connect with a lifeline crisis supporter (24 Hrs)
Suicide callback service (24 Hrs)
Kids helpline (24 Hrs)
13 YARN