Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Desperatemom]

Hello I am new here. I am single mom to a 20 year old who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. He has been in and out of the hospital since he was 16. He was doing good for awhile with taking meds and going to the doctor but the last year he has really gone down hill. He has started to get paranoid and hears voices. I moved to Texas to try and start over and have realized it was not the greatest idea. Trying to get him help has been tough, plus he's adult and doesn't think he needs medication or doctors
Most of the time he keeps to himself and really doesn't do much. He gets upset if i try to talk with him about going to the doctor. The other night I came home and he put holes in my wall and broke my TV. I took him to the hospital but they would not admit him because he did not meet criteria. So now I have to bring him to work with my for fear he will do something much worse and get me evicted. I just found he has started smoking weed again and that's has terrible side effects for him especially if he is unable to get more. My youngest is afraid of him and sometimes I get a little scared myself for he can be unpredictable. I don't want to see him homeless but not sure what else to do for him. I have no family support to help me and I am alone and worried. Please any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[greenpea]

@Desperatemom Welcome to the Forums. I am sorry to hear that you have been going through so much strife with your eldest son. I have been through similar situations with my middle son and it is heartbreaking to watch. The thing is as you say he is now considered an adult ... that makes it very hard to get him to psychiatrists and to get him to take his medication etc.

When things were violent in my home and just recently when my son was hurting himself I called the ambulance and the police. He was taken to hospital and he was there for two agonizing weeks (we all hated it) but he came out much better because of it. It is the only way here in Australia to do it when there is non coompliance ...  I am not sure about Texas.

Is he taking medication or seeing a psychiatrist? I told my son no alcohol or drugs and luckily for me he doesnt do either. I believe that is vital. It is your house your rules no drugs or alcohol if he wants to stay. Sometimes a bit of tough love is what is needed. If there is more aggression call the police that is what they are there for. He wont thank you for it straight away but at the end of the day he will as it will only escalate and you have your younger child and yourself to consider.

Take care greenpea.

[SleepyPanda]

Hi @Desperatemom

Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story.

I am providing a few links for Carer Support services that may help:

https://www.dss.gov.au/disability-and-carers/carers

http://www.sharc.org.au/program/family-drug-help/

http://www.carersaustralia.com.au/

I hope these help.

Take Care

SP

[ivana]

Hi @Desperatemom,

I'm sorry your in a difficult situation.

This is just a start for your difficult situation but can you try saying to your son in a empathetic way that you understand why he's smoking marijuana,that it may give him some happiness or calm feelings or perhaps he's depressed and it's giving him a "purpose",but at the same time you have decided your not going to have any drugs in your house as it's not only illegal (assuming this is the case for Texas too) but that it's also not a long term solution for his problems and will zap him further of motivation and energy.

Also consider saying to him that you would love to have him still living with you,but that it's important that everyone respects each other and that includes sticking to the rule of no drugs in the house.