Lived Experience Forum

[Neelix]

I've heard and read this is a sympton of bipolar. I live with bipolar. I imagine I will have a black pug and call him Neelix, I want to travel to Nova Scotia and see the birthplace of Lucy Montgomery, I'd like to own a cafe/bookstore, I'd like to remarry and have twins. Is this a grandiose idea? I've heard my friends say...they want to win lotto, they want to retire early, they want a perfect body, they want to be rich. I think that is grandiose. If I say...it would be cool to be an Elf with a melodic voice, ride on their famous steads and live at Elvandar forest. If I say...I'd like to be a dwarf at Grey Stone Mountain, wander the tunnels and have the hammer of Thor at my side to keep me safe. You might say I've read the book too it was great. I have thought that too. Is a 'grandiose idea' something thats not attainable? I'm at a loss...

[Mazarita]

Hi @Neelix, it's an interesting question. In my long manic phase I secretly thought I was a love goddess. That was a delusion. On the other hand I have been, as it turns out, unrealistically ambitious in my aspirations earlier in my life. I probably was thinking in grandiose ways, though I'm still not sure because I got part of the way towards the big goal I was seeking, against significant odds. The line seems blurrier here, as you say, because lots of people without mental illness diagnoses think big about their lives. Having said that, personally I have experienced a fair bit of disappointment in relation to my earlier grand aspirations and I now think it's a good idea to try to keep feet on the ground while dreaming big. 

[Neelix]

Hi @Mazarita cheers for the comment. It's refreshing to get another's comment about 'grandiose ideas'. I was sitting outside looking at the sun and I thought huh? grandiose ideas? lol You are right, 'grounding' makes all the difference. Hope you are having a good night

[Neelix]

@Mazarita good on you to focus on your goal and travel there or part of the way. I'm in recovery to get well in that I mean manage my health better. My goals have been small and I say that because I think a big goal is for me to return to work or travel o/s again. I had thought 'grandiose' is about things I can't reach or perhaps are absurd. I'm a stubborn scorpio and I think that I can reach things just keep going hehe

[Mazarita]

Hi @Neelix, it sounds like you have achieved a great deal with your journey towards better health. I think your idea about 'just keep going' towards your goals is good too. I'd say go for what you want, while continuing to manage your health and maintain as much balance with everything as possible. That's pretty similar to what I'm trying to do too. Wishing you the best!

[Kurra]

Hi @Neelix @Mazarita

Maz, our stories of early career are very similar. I nearly got to the top of my field. One of the top, that is, until bipolar blew my workd apart and I spent 4 months im hospital o/s.

Grandiose ideas in and of themselves I believe can be experienced by anyone. Let's call it wishful thinking. In my experience, it's when I act on those grandiose ideas that it's a bipolar symptom. Ee all wish lots of things could happen. It's wonderful to dream! Just try not to act on those high faluting ideas. 😁

[Appleblossom]

Grandiosity can be difficult to pin down.

I thought it was more a symptom of schizophrenia than Bi polar but things seem to have changed.

Where is it optimisim, dreaming big, having a dream at all. Is it only in hindsight, after a failure to attain goals can it be called grandiosity.

I self censored my wishes and dreams and tried to keep realistic because I was a little afraid it might be a symptom of me becoming schizophrenic early in life. So maybe as a young woman I did not dream as big as I should or could have??

I really like the questioning tone in your post @Neelix and I like your dreams more than some ...lol

Some dreams that I have been told I should cultivate are so boring. A trip to Fiji, rather than a person might listen and understand ...

What I think it does indicate is some sense of social mismatch in the psychosocial constellation ... but it is through dreaming that most human endeavour is made manifest.

cheers Apple

[Neelix]

Hi @Appleblossom I had to google psychosocial hehe and that makes sense to me now. It is unlike disassociation. It may be that some may experience the 'grandiose ideas' due to social environment in the moment of time or location OR past experience. Lol @ your comment of boring dreams ..perhaps because they may be different now? I agree 'dreaming' is where it all begins ...:) Have a good night