Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[MissB]

Hello,

our son is 22 years old has no job. Sleeps in until 1-2 o'clock. is not seeing his friends much anymore, he does go to gym, but apart from that spends time analysing the world and events and how F---- d up it is and why bother at lol as we are all going to die any way. He says counsellor's are also f ----- d in the head and know nothing he can sort himself out. Just last evening we became aware that he has now cut himself.😢

He said he was also thinking he should go to MAcdonalds and tell the parents off for feeding their fat children this junk. He has a fascination now with numbers and how they control the world.. We have tried everything in getting him to seek professional help. He has negative thoughts now all of the time, some days he will talk okay and be not too bad, but in reality is getting so bad we just can't deal with him any more and is so hard to be around. We have decided to get counselling for us ( mum & dad) to try and see what else we can do strategies support etc. Had our first session yesterday. Have rang mental health acute care for more advice once again after we found out the cutting business. It just seems we are going round & round & round with no real options when they refuse all help. We are currently trying to get him to access Centrelink for Newstart as he is eligible now for something, this has taken us all of the week and still can't get him to do it. We are soooo tired and emotional wrecked.

Has any one else been in this situation? Thank you all for your thoughts.

[KobeCat]

Hi @MissB

Kobecat here, one of the overnight moderators.  

Welcome to the forum, hopefully you will find this a supportive space, with lots of the other members sharing their experiences. 

Kindest regards, 

Kobe. 

[clairesy]

@MissB Sorry im not much help in this area but just sending you hugs 🙂 if your able to contact kidshelp line maybe they can help 🙂

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[Fancy_Pants]

Hi @MissB

amoungst other things the unknown of this sounds so frustrating and scary... its so sad that this happens way too often

what did the mental health acute care service say when you called?

i wonder if any of the family support lines could provide advice i.e. carers aust  and mental health carers aust  and Carer Connections helpline 1800 655 198 or SANE (during business hours)?

I have linked some great factsheets suggesting different communication styles, and ways to get help (although he is not a teen he is still considered a child as per most kids help lines) as well as a short article with some tips on taking care of yourself and others during this tough time which can be found here

what do others think?

[MissB]

Thanks Kobe just knowing that we have some support helps as it is so hard when having to go through stuff like this yourself.

[MissB]

Thank you so much for your care and offer where else we can turn too. It is so nice to have people who understand.

[MissB]

Hello,

thank you you so much for your reply with wonderful information for us. My husband had a long discussion with Mental health and they were going to discuss him yesterday at their meeting. Problem is they are not able to come out to home for assement.He alsmost needs to be physically aggressive to us or others or threatening self harm ( suicide) then we call triple 000 he isn't at this point, but so desperately needs some psychological intervention.!!! It is a roundabout that doesn't seem to finish.

we will read the attached info and try that approach.The psychologist we saw seems to think he is still stuck in the teenage realm and not yet found his identity and where He fits. He suggested for him to stay under our roof he has 3 choices Earn, Learn or Therapy. He chose Earn which I feel won't even happen he still can't even come out and get his Newstart paper work done!!' Ahhh the fricking frustration however we soldier on.

[Bluebutterfly1]

Yes Miss B, sorry to say, we are in the same boat, our son is 45 and been back with us for a year now. Full of bitterness, does not communicate with anyone. We to are emotionally recked. He will not get help it is the world that is the problem. Most if the time I cope, just sometimes I just do to want to anymore. He used to talk about topping himself. But now he just lives off of us, does very little to help, only when and if he feels like it. Bringing people into my home is near on impossible. The to get a tirade of ow bad the world is so why try. We do not talk about  the news in the paper and always change the channel on the to, they are triggers that set him off. We are in our sixties and are tired. We thought our job was done. Sorry no help, I don't know if it ends. 

[Former-Member]

Hello @MissB @Bluebutterfly1

I hear your struggle and despair.

Sadly you are not alone.

Males seem to be affected more than females.

As for help I dont think that is a term that I would describe what is on offer.

We do as parents have to look after our own welfare though.

Ring Carers Australia, they have  a mental health section where you will be classified as a carer and are entitled to some support. They are very helpful. All the best.

[MissB]

Hello @Bluebutterfly1

This time in your life  should be ours back again as yes we have thought The parentIng job done. Which it is as your son is well and truly an adult. The frustration of living with MI is immense and feelings of where/ what & How?? 

What I am hearing from a lot of sources is if they don't want or think they need help it's pretty hard for any one to get through. It is so hard for you as he is overtaken your space. Does he get government support Centrelink, rent assistance etc. Might need to force a change as we have been told to try. Give him 3 choices, these of course may be different for 45 yr old. Earn, learn or Therapy. We are still trying our son did choose Earn, but we will see Hmmm.? Sorry but can't offer any more, there seems to be a lot of support networks for carers also.

Love to you both💕