Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Magantu]

Hi All. Sorry havnt been on here since. But probably should have been. Feel like I am at a point where I should be. Heavily considering leaving my marriage (for the third time). The last time we went to the doctors, again she was prescribed medication and refused to admit she needs help (Ive been in that seat at least five times) having been assessed multiple times by doctors and prescribed multiple plans, she rejects medication, counsilling and responsibility for her illness instead blaming entirely her problems and our problems on me. She was bulimic as a teen/early to mid 20's, I wouldnt be surprised if she still relapses though (she denies this to doctors though she spent a month at a clinic in sydney for help there). Since the birth of our daughter i believe she has spiralled out of control and a miscarriage early this year has tipped it over again, however will not help herself. I admit I have probably played a part in her illness as my career takes me away. Though I have consistently flown them across australia everytime i am away to be with her mum (mainly as i concern for our daughter alone with her). Bit of a vent there - but i feel like i cannot care anymore.

[Lauz]

Hi @Magantu,

I am so sorry to hear you are having a tough time at the moment. I am really glad you have reached out here as our members definitely know the feelings that come with being a carer.

As you can see I have just moved your post from the Dogs Rock thread so that it was easier for members to see your story and reply to you.

Can I ask if you have reached out to a therapist or cousellor for yourself to help you find some guidence?

Lauz

[Shaz51]

Hello @Magantu 

I am so sorry to hear you are having a tough time at the moment my friend

we are here for you , you are not alone

How are you today

[Magantu]

Hi.

Thanks for your support.

We are heading in to see a psych today, weve seen this lady before and she was great! So fingers croased for that.

[Shaz51]

Got my fingers crossed for you @Magantu 

[Pebbles]

Hi @Magantu, how did you go today with the psych appoinment? 

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Magantu How are you? 

Hello @Lauz @Pebbles @Shaz51

@Magantu, ...... @Shaz51 is my special friend and @Pebbles have written frequently with each other  on Sane Forums.

Hello @Lauz !

My name is @PeppiPatty...I am a carer for my two adult sons, one who stays the night with my husband and me once per week, he is 23 years old, my oldest son is in another state.....and my very beautiful and wonderful husband, well, I'm a paid carer for him, oh yes. 

But caring is so so difficult sometimes. When I started on Sane Forums, a  while ago: I used to think, oh yeah....I'm proffessional, I KNOW what I'm doing..

I don't think so.The highs are sometimes very little. Why am I here?  Because he and me dance our lives well together. We have converstations that keep going. We obviously really care for each other.

On the other hand ...it took years for my husband to take responsibility for his mental illness......

Have you met @Appleblossom ? She is an amazing Mum and carer for her son. Also, @Former-Member is another lady who is a carer and Mother. And @TAB is a man who is living in Sydney...( I think) 

The MOST important thing of course, is that your daughter and yourself and your partner are safe. No matter what.

What can you put in place to ensure that  all are staying safe, not just you but your daughter and your partner? 

I like very much how you write,

PeppiPatty

[Magantu]

Hi All.

Psych app went well, for myself at least - Ive found this particular clinician works well with me, she is one of those whom we have seen before and although I feel we will not be going back paired, I will in future be making solo visits at a minimum.

The reality unfortunately is, that we have in recent times relocated interstate and will not return here, together, for a while. However this is ok for they will return to her mother and fathers and, I can only hope, take off from where was last left. The mother in law does, with all our dissimilarities, love the same woman I married.

Our situation is no doubt similar to many of our generation, thrown every opportunity but unable to choose one.

[PeppiPatty]

Thanks for your message @Magantu

How are you today ?