Living with BPD YOUNG ADULT

[Ticia]

Hi there,

We are a family of 4 and our eldest daughter has been not yet diagnosed with BPD but psychiatrist from the CAT Team has said that she got the traits of BPD.

she is 19 and is living with us (her parents and her younger sister 15).

She has been diagnosed 2 years ago with ADHD.

Our family life has been through so much stress, fights for the last 4 years, which has intensified in the last 6 months.

our eldest daughter does not seem to realise the pain & emotions we are feeling.

i have found out that while she was doing her year 12 exams, she was working as a sex worker on many occasions.

she would say to me “look mum all the money i am earning, you are jealous”. She would even “joke” and tell her younger sister to do the same job.

Previously, she would steal food from the nearby supermarket, pretending that we were poor.

she is disrespectful and abusing towards my husband.

I got into fight with her so many times.

since the diagnosis of this month (not yet confirmed), everything makes sense.

on many occasions, we have thought about asking her to move out. She did once went to a shelter and has decided to come back after few days.

she is blaming us for everything.

she has no job, do not study (she is changing her mind every second day about what she wants to study). She is watching youtube nonstop.

she is obsessed with certain foods, she can be abusive until she get what she wants.

CAT Team has offered her to go to PARC but she has refused it. What she wants from us is to pay an accommodation so she can move out of our family home.

we were arguing about this option as she has no income.

I forgot to mention that she does not help at home with any of chores.

Her bedroom is a “pig s***l”, she will shower every second week, brush her teeth very rarely, doesn’t her clean her clothes…

My husband and myself can’t cope with her anymore.

Our youngest daughter has been struggling with this situation for too long.

Most importantly, she doesn’t see herself as adult but pretends to be still a teenager.

she also refuses herself think that she has BPD.

[snowflake231]

@Ticia 

Sounds like a very difficult situation. 

my daughter was diagnosed with bpd by Cymhs but I don't think that that diagnosis fits. Nevertheless it was very hard to live with. 

have you tried headspace? They support the carers so you might be able to get support for yourself in this difficult time.  

[snowflake231]

@Ticia 

when you google headspace make sure you look at the Australian one as there is also an American one 

[StevieJ]

Hi

I have a 28 yr old, diagnosed with BPD. I think , because I have heard this from third parties. Certainly makes sense.

Have you been in contact with the Arcadia Ward at Robina Hosp. Gold Coast?

Even if you don't live near. It is a specialist facility for young people. A resource that may give you some strength and hope. 🙏