Lived Experience Forum

[LuckyStar]

Hi 

Am new, i need to make a decision, and I isolate, have no counsellor (retired 02/16) so came here.

1. I just started a new med, which has side effects;

2. I have OCD, so i hate hospitals, only been in old ones; and

3. Feel like i'm stuck in a parallel universe in which my life is so out of control.

So, got out of a clinic Oct after 13 days, back hm, have been struggling since with SE of weight/fatigue, and nutrition due to OCD i.e. can only eat pkt/dry food.

I have two referrals for two clinics interstate, one called me yesterday to say they have a bed.

Because, want to leave here forever, would end up living in a caravan park (living environment dysfunctional).

Having thoughts of wanting to not be here almost daily, and too anxious to leave hm, so idk how can get a plane.

1. Problem is hospital, I was scared of my Doctor, agreed with whatever was said to me, discharged despite still not quite right.

So do I go back there, I can get appointments next week, and be treated like crap, by overworked temp staff, or drag myself to the hospital interstate, both of which am speaking to this morning about not eating the food, and being allowed to drink meal replacements drinks.

2. And if both hospitals are ok with not eating, do i go to one in a major city (where i have lived before but is expensive), or one a little bit further up w/heaps of hostels.

And in saying this, I may run into people i know, and I'm scared, but i got diagnosed with arthritis and one more month of winter would be it for me, although Ive been offered a course and to do it i need alot of money, but it's my dream, so can see why am so upset atm.

Tx 4 listening x

[Lunar]

Hello @LuckyStar,

It sounds like there is a lot going on for you at the moment in regards to your mental health and your physical health, lots of decisions and worries all at the same time, you must be feeling quite overwhelmed and exhausted.

It sounds like one of the main issues is that you have started a new medication and this is probably having some side affects like you said, are you seeing a Psychiatrist for this?

The other main issue is your lack of eating which is causing you to go to hospital, am I right? Perhaps seeing a Psychologist to address your OCD and lack of eating will decrease your hospital visits as they seem to be distressing you.

You mentioned you have no counsellor, when are you able to see a new one?

Lunar

[Former-Member]

Hi @LuckyStar

Hi, im not sure i've met you before on the forums so welcome! 

The decisions sound overwhelming but youre already doing good things to help figure out (listing out the pros and cons, phoning each place for more information).. 

sorry to hear about the side effects, does the dr think that they will settle? or is that something that a hospital visit is supposed to help with maybe?

Hope that it helps being here,

lj

[LuckyStar]

Hi @Lunar@Former-Member thanks for your support, it's a little complicated but since Easter I've tried through my GP to see counselor, psychologist, psychiatrist, and no joy, until Oct when i finally got to latter.

It's a matter of time constraints.

Not being able to travel anymore on buses and trains, due to anxiousness, so heavily reliant on ageing family with car, who are working, stressed to the max 'attitudes are contagious', but whatever!

The lack of not eating nutritional food, probably did trigger my most recent hospital stay.

Problem is everytime i make an appointment with the psychiatrist, i have a panic attack and cancel.

Have linked up with an outreach worker, had second appt. On Monday, but it's been like three counselling sessions in a year.

I've had no counselling as i've metioned i want to go away, and the GP knows it's useless if am not staying.

Moreover, there's no 'takeaway' counseling without giving your entire life history up, they don't take all the other times /shame you've told it into consideration.

- 

Since earlier, i've booked a flight and confirmed the hospital interstate, they said i need to eat food aside from pkg food, so i can try.

But atm better than being in a place with ppl constantly arguing, which i failed to mention in my first post, which i live with daily, but i do have insurance, worst case scenario.  And if i need to cancel, i will just do it all here and accept my situation.

But being told different types of advice by various professionals is confusing, but am going to up the quality sleep, try to eat a few meals this week, and keep up the self care.

Tx

[Former-Member]

wow! Well done @LuckyStar on booking flights, making a decision! 

It can be really hard having to rely on others/family/friends to get to appointments and things. Would it be possible to use a taxi occasionally?

If you're not staying where you are, would it be possible to start putting in place some transfer of care and apply for supports/outreach services where you are going? or perhaps that can be organised during your hospital stay as part of your discharge plan?

Sounds like you have had a hugely productive day, can you do something nice for yourself as a reward? 

lj

[LuckyStar]

There is another office i'm sure of the current branch, where I'm going, of outreach ppl I'm approved to see, have seen twice, my next appointment's Monday, so am going to arrange for the transfer. But yes, I will ensure that I do see someone in hospital, as it never happened in the last visit, the social worker was sick.

Thanks for the props LJ am going to go maybe watch something if i'm still awake, when the rest goes to bed.

Thanks for the opportunity to share, one moment at a time!