Lived Experience Forum

[BellaGus]

I am an incredibly independent person and I am struggling to rely on my husband to be to afford everything. Our wedding and day to day expenses plus my own personal loans. It is causing a lot of stress and anxiety. I know this is a problem for most women but I'm feeling so helpless.

[samt31]

hi @BellaGus it can be hard to depent on someone else. i hate too, i have been out of work for 6 weeks and relying on my DSP and my partners income. i hate that he left to pay for everything but he understands when i go back to work i will have money to pay him back. anyway he must love you to help and support you. have you talked it over with him? sometimes communication can fix it too and might feel a wieght brrn lifted off your shoulders..

samt31

[utopia]

@BellaGus. When we are independent and used to being in control of our own finances - it can be hard when you are not in a position to earn money.
Whether you stay at home to look after the kids or sick relatives, or are between jobs or too unwell to work at the moment. The reason doesn't matter - as the end result is the same. Frustration and possibly fear.
But you have a husband - a partner - & that means you are a partnership. When one party can't do a particular task - the other takes over and does it.
If your partner was unable to work at the moment - I'm sure you would be happy to support him financially.
Marriage is for a long time. There will be periods where you will each need to 'pick up the slack' for the other. In sickness and in health. For richer. For poorer.

[Fancy_Pants]

Hi @BellaGus

There is no shame in relying on people when you need it, specially your partner

as queenie said (paraphrased) it all comes around, you care for each other in different ways at different times.

if you can try and see this feeling you have of restriction / lack of freedom as a temporary tight blanket wrapped around you to comfort you at a time when you need it. when you are able and ready you can shrug it off and have your freedom of movement / independance back again