Lived Experience Forum

[Oaktree]

I saw my psychologist today and although I think trauma therapy will be good for me in the long run I am paralysed by fear now. Even just talking about the steps in front of us makes me fearful. I don't have the faith that I can do any of it! My psychologist wants to take a number of approaches including looking at schema's, Gestalt chair technique and imagery rescripting. It's the imagery rescripting that I am really frightened of and I am not sure how fair it is to even get started if I am going to get cold feet and not do the imagery rescripting in the end. I think that I would rather pull out now. I rang my psychologist late today and had a chat about it and I was a mess. They talked about doing a pro/con list next week. I just don't know what I want to do. Does anyone have any advice on how I can feel less fear? I can't explain why I so scared but I find the whole thing terrifying. It's like being in a tiny little boat in a rough ocean with huge waves. I think I might die.

Meggle

[NatureLover]

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@Oaktree wrote:

I think I might die.

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Oh @Oaktree , I'm so sorry that you're overcome by fear 😞 It sounds terrifying. 

Is there any way you can take the steps really, really slowly? (I'm not quite sure what's involved)

Or maybe one small step and then a break where you work on something lighter?

One thing that did occur to me is that when I am paralysed by fear about something, once I have got started, things feel more doable. I know, getting started is pretty awful though. 

Sending you hugs...

[saltandpepper]

I think fear is to be expected @Oaktree do you trust your psychologist? If so, trust them and the process. You don't have to do anything you aren't comfortable with and can always tell your psych if it's too overwhelming just yet

[BPDSurvivor]

@Oaktree ,

Unless you are ready, I don't believe it is a good idea to proceed.

Jumping into trauma therapy requires the participant to be mentally strong enough. I've worked through this myself. My psychologist would not dare step into that space until he knew I was ready.

The work now should probably be geared towards helping you "get ready".

What are your thoughts?

BPDSurvivor

[Gwynn]

Hi @Oaktree,

What can you do to soothe yourself?

Maybe you could look at some meditations to confront uncomfortable feelings, when you are not so distressed.