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16-08-2016 08:12 PM
16-08-2016 08:12 PM
Relationship advice
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17-08-2016 03:05 AM
17-08-2016 03:05 AM
Re: Relationship advice
Hello @Scud87
Kids are a big motivator to stay on the planet and make something work. My children agree that was better that we split as my relationship was not working. Life is tough enough without being in such a toxic situation. I know a lot of women who would be horrified by the situation you have described. Its not my style. You are right none of us
is all bad .. or all good ...
cant give relationship advice as I am single .. take care
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17-08-2016 09:14 AM
17-08-2016 09:14 AM
Re: Relationship advice
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17-08-2016 10:05 AM
17-08-2016 10:05 AM
Re: Relationship advice
Hi @Scud87,
A warm welcome to the SANE Forums
I'm glad you found the forums and are able to talk about this issue here. It sounds like such a difficult position you are in at the moment and I can appreciate that making a decision about what you want to do next is extremely hard. The infidelity is certainly something for which she needs to take accountablity. There may have been reasons that lead to her being unfaithful, but those are her actions for which only she is responsible. Being in a relationship where your partner continually puts you down and makes you hate everything about yourself is really hard and impacts on your self-esteem and self-worth. It is common after being treated this way to stay in the relationship, despite the hardship. I can only imagine how bad this must have felt to lead to attempt suicide. I'm glad to hear that this is no longer an option for you and that you live for your children. They really are a strong motivation to keep trying.
We cant say from the information that you have given us if your partner is narcisstic, as there are many possiblilities for her behaviour and the aim of the forum is not to diagnose but rather provide support. Perhaps what would be helpful in this situation is building up your self-worth and changing the way you view yourself. Sometimes when we have a negative option of ourselves we will put up with things that we normally wouldn't stand for and after being in the relationship for 11 years perhaps being treated this way has become a 'normal' part of your life. Working on yourself may give you the strength to be able to make a decision about what you want and not be pulled back in if your decision is to leave the relationship. Continuing to work with the counsellor can provide you with this. As @pip mentioned, if you do choose to leave the relationship, getting some legal advice may be a good idea.
Take care @Scud87 and I hope to 'see' you around the forums soon
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18-08-2016 05:02 PM
18-08-2016 05:02 PM
Re: Relationship advice
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18-08-2016 05:12 PM
18-08-2016 05:12 PM
Re: Relationship advice
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18-08-2016 05:15 PM
18-08-2016 05:15 PM
Re: Relationship advice
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27-06-2017 07:02 AM
27-06-2017 07:02 AM
Re: Relationship advice
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27-06-2017 07:06 AM
27-06-2017 07:06 AM
Re: Relationship advice
I really need some advice .. have been struggling with my partner of 28 years and the loss of intimacy now he is so unwell with schizophrenia.. he is my best and only friend. I'm so saddened and at a loss... What can I do to try and keep going .
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27-06-2017 07:19 AM
27-06-2017 07:19 AM
Re: Relationship advice
Hello @Cindy
It sounds as though your world has turned upside down with your partner's diagnosis. You are struggling with the loss of intimacy and feeling empty and alone. To be so close to someone for so long and then the relationship changes so much would be really confusing and hurtful.
Do you have any hobbies or interests of your own? You mentioned your partner is your best friend, I was wondering whether you have any other friends or family you can catch up with and talk to at all.
Take care, MummaMia