Lived Experience Forum

[Mukluk]

Hi.

Found my way here as I try and search for new/extra supports to put in place. I'm in complete Autistic and carer burnout. Throw in ComplexPTSD, possible fibromyalgia, and a marriage that is completely falling apart. I'm completely worn out. So much has happened over the last few years that has left me very lonely and alone. I have a good psychologist and OT. But I need more supports in place if I'm ever going to get out of burnout and actually function again. I'm not sure what those supports should be or what else there really is. I've tried some support workers but they just aren't what I've needed. Feel like I need to pretend everything is ok around them. When really what I need is support between therapy sessions, someone I can actually talk to and be honest with. If I'm having a bad day to be able to be honest about it and why and have someone validate that yep that sucks let's eat cake. 

Hoping maybe these forums can help fill that gap a little. Thanks for having me.

[Jopro]

I 100% agree. I too had many support workers and then pretend everything is ok when clearly it’s not. I’m alone since l lost my dad who was the next dad ever 5yrs ago. I hate my mother cause she’s selfish and self centred. I have withdrawn to a point of hiding from the world. I understand what u are going through

[Jynx]

Hey @Mukluk welcome to the forums. I hope you find it to be a warm and welcoming community. First up, feel free to take a look at our Tips & Tricks for new members. 

I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling so much with your burnout. It sounds like you're completely depleted of energy and can't seem to find the right support. It sucks to feel like you have to pretend everything is okay when it come to support workers. Why do you think that is? I think shame can be a big theme in situations like this, and might be something you could unpack a little with your psych? 

Burnout is a tricky one, because it usually indicates that we need rest above all else. Is there anything part of your day-to-day that you could pause or reduce for a time? You can also have a think about the type of rest you might need - this article about the '7 types of rest' has helped me so much in terms of understanding what I need a break from. 

If you want someone to chat to more regularly, SANE has a couple of options you could look into - there's our support centre you can call on 1800 187 263 to chat to one of our counsellors, or there's our Guided Service programme for ongoing telehealth sessions. 

And of course, we're glad to have you as part of the forums community, feel free to pop into other threads to chat with some other members and read others' stories, you might find some solidarity in the shared experience. 

I hope you are able to find the right support and right balance for your recovery 💜

[Mukluk]

Thanks.

Yes rest is absolutely a goal that I am working on with therapists. It is difficult with multiple kids with disabilities and zero informal supports though. But certainly something we are working towards. 

I'll look into those extra supports you have linked to as well. Thank you. I think what I'm looking for is a bit of a mash between a counsellor, mentor and support worker. Actually what I really need is a friend who I can just be honest with, cry with, and go to a cafe or movie etc with. But that currently isn't an option, so looking for the more formal/paid version of that. 

I think partly I've pretended because I didn't want to burden or make them uncomfortable. Put them in a position that made them feel out of their depth. Finding people skilled and capable with complex mental health isn't easy. 

[Ocean-Blue]

Hi @Mukluk and welcome

I have found it challenging to get helpful support workers too. My first question of them is always, so how much experience do you have in mental health? Unfortunately the answers are often disappointing. 

I have written out an explanation of some of the things I experience as part of my complex PTSD and used that. It was helpful up to a point, but I get tired of having to 'train' the workers that support me. I get tired of ending up supporting their mental health issues. I get tired of triggering others and then feeling awful for them.

I don't know the solution. There is so much need for good mental health trained support workers and so few of them, especially away from capital cities.

I guess I just wanted you to know you are not alone in this struggle.

[Mukluk]

Thanks. Nice to know Im not alone. Although partly wish I was so that no one else was having to struggle with this too.