Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

[Determined]

Re lines being crossed in post above  I was able to have a constructive discussion with darling about that this afternoon and actually got an apology. She was feeling angry and resentful about the current situation, a fair bit of grief I believe about her mum  and just seeing the insincere parasite of a sibling cary on was getting all too much. I was able to point out that projecting her feelings on to me... the one here to help her did not help anyone and that I was also having a hard time but doing my best to support her. She actually apologised and thanked me. Dont see that often so most grateful. 

[Former-Member]

I would have thought with FIL still going strong, that would not be an issue @Determined. I have the opposite, my Mum wants to hoist stuff my way when we go to visit, don't want to offend her but I am not sure that I particularly want some of it.

[Determined]

That's what I thought @Former-Member but guess I was wrong. I always had a soft spot for this sibling and darling has always been 'dont trust him' 

Point taken.   Some of the stuff he wants is of little value but that us not the point. More that it appears he is more interested in what he can get than spending time with his dying mum. 😡🤐  

[Former-Member]

@Determined

People = more important than things.  I will need to be very intentional about spending quality time with Mum when we visit. Mr D has organised a busy schedule. 

[Shaz51]

good morning @Former-Member, @Determined, @Former-Member

I don`t think my brain is with me today for some reason ,can`t seem to write what I want to write or say what i want to say

so sending you all hugs for today and hoping I will feel more me after

[Determined]

I agree @Former-Member.

I am encouraging darling to go visit mum by herself for that reason. I regret not spending more time just sitting with my dad rather than being busy and distracted when visiting. 

[Former-Member]

@Shaz51 perhaps a day to take things a little easier and let your brain rest. The frog picture was just gorgeous.  

[Shaz51]

that frog was on my hand @Former-Member, sooo tiny

yes feeling a bit better now @Former-Member, being watching tv and having coffee

did go and visit mum and put her bins out for her '

having leftover tuna mornay tonight

how has your day been

Hello @Determined, @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

@Lisek @Shelley there are a few of us "old hands" who are long term caregivers. Feel free to ask any questions you may have. 

[Lisek]

Thanks Darcy! I wondered is it ok to tell our loved ones that they effect us too... That their feeling down affects us. If I think about it it sounds like a bad idea but how can you keep everything inside you and not mention it? Will it cause more damage, will it bring them down more...make them stop talking to us?