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@Former-Member Given what I know of your family's general stressors, you really do not need to blame yourself or your breakdowns for your sister's actions.
In my family it was not even me that had the breakdowns, but my sister was cold hard and rejecting. I would do anything to keep the family together after what we had suffered, and visit her at airports with my kids and forgive and forgive, but she swanned around like a queen. She could not take a positive word about my brother or sister or show any understanding. We were only there for her benefit, chauffeuring, holidays etc or we were cut off. I never saw it coming. If anything her behaviour was the last straw for me. I had hoped we would come closer.
Though I suffered with my brother and sister. There was no sense in which I thought it was an easy choice, or that they just had to try harder, as I knew they were trying VERY HARD.
I am sure you did your best.
ALL I can say LIFE is not a level playing field. It is not fair.
I feel for your son (having lost sibs early in life) and I feel for you. At the moment I have a similar dynamic going on underneath in my relationship with my son.
My son says I do not try.
I have just dropped him off to a group that he enjoys. I keep in the background, as he does not want to be seen dropped by his mother. It is the way it is.
Now I have to do a big cook up and go to rehearsal tonight.
Regardless I know I have many positive interactions that help improve life for me and others in tiny ways.
My FAITH is more a determined commitment to try and do what is right, rather than any belief that God, or someone will notice or that things will go right. I still pray and meditate, east and west styles. I try not to be foolishly optimistic, but something in me will not sink to apathy or willingly do wrong. But that is according to my lights. I have honestly tried to please a lot of people. Now I am old, I am lightening that load, and trying to grow my own true full sense of good living.
Sorry this is more about me than you, but trying to reach out in sisterly care.
Yes the father is still around. From the sound of things, both our boys are going to be good decent men, which is a hard ask in a difficult world.
I can understand why you would feel a strong response to the recent Apology. It is difficult tterritory, but to give the church its due, they are actually apologising. In the end after reaching out to my mother for over 50 years, I had to say to her at least the Pope, and in your case, the church is acknowledging harm done, and making an apology. She never could, and resorted to teasing me about her neglects and issues. It was sad, cos I always hoped true love would win out, but mine did not, and even if nobody believes me, I know I was true.
You make a difference too. Without our connection, I may not have been able to hang on. Seriously.
