Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[funkykristi]

Hi so im in a very new relationship with a guy who has longterm anxiety. He also has autism and has had depression before. He is in inconsistent employment and at the age of 32 still lives at home due to not being able to afford to rent or really look after himself fully.
We have been upfront and honest with each other and im aware we seem to communicate well which are assets to any relationship.
Ive just never done this before with someone with diagnosable illnesses. Might be good to build connections with others who have. Im guess im worried there will be some aspect of this i wont be able to handle and have to break up with him. Ive never been to the house he lives in yet but he tells me his mum is a major hoarder and the house is beyond being a mess. He says he wants to give us a go but he isnt sure his brain will let him go there

[Lunar]

Hi there @funkykristi,

A very big warm welcome to the forums, thank you for sharing with us.

It's great that you are upfront and honest with one another and that you are willing to learn more about how to cope around your partners mental health concerns. When he mentions wanting to give you two a go but isn't sure his brain will go there, it might be helpful to discuss the kinds of triggers that increase his anxiety and the worries he has for the relationship just so you are also aware and able to connect and supprt him with that.

It might also be helpful for you to read through some resources and gain some support from a carer perspective at this stage to start building those connections. That way you will have tools up your sleeve when anxiety levels rise or you are having a difficult time coping.

Mental Health Carers AUS

http://www.mentalhealthcarersaustralia.org.au/

Anxiety Carer Resource

https://www.carergateway.gov.au/anxiety

The forums are also a great place to gain more support, I hope you find them useful 🙂

Lunar

[funkykristi]

thanks,

i really appreciate it. im lucky i guess in that i have a lot of good mates and some i know who are open with their own struggles with this kind of thing. The two main bits of advice that keep coming up are: continue to be yourself its you he was attracted to in the first place, look after yourself first have your own interests and have time out with your own interests if it all becomes overwhelming. also they have said be aware there will be bumpy bits. one thing im flabbergasted by is the lack of support by the powers that be (we are in melbourne australia) a few years ago i was having some self esteem issues due to my less than desirable upbringing and saw a very helpful psychologist who helped me through a lot. This was 6 or 7 years ago. My partner tells me its changed since then though and because he doesnt have steady work he is too much out of pocket seeing someone. The mental health scheme isnt what it used to be according to him because the government doesnt believe mental illness is a thing. Do they really not want to prevent sucides etc.? its so disappionting to hear it.

[Lunar]

Hello @funkykristi,

That great to hear you have some supportive mates who are open to talk about mental health, that is really helpful.

It is a shame that there seems to be a lack of low cost/free mental health services but you are still able to access the Mental Health Plan through a referral from your GP, which will get you 10 sessions with a Medicare rebate and some Psychologists and counsellors even bulk bill if you tell them about your financial circumstances.

You can also access low cost/free services through community support, you might want to go to your nearest Community Centre and ask them what kind of services you can get linked in to.

So I guess, don't be turned off accessing mental health services due to it being costly as there are options for low income earners, it's just about asking the right people who know whats available in your specific area.

Take care,

Lunar 🙂

[Lunar]

Oh and also I 100% agree with just being yourself as that is so important in a relationship, you can always adjust certain things but underneath that being yourself is the most important so you are comfortable in yourself. As well as Self-Care, knowing what things make you happy, grounded and motivated are all so very very helpful 🙂

[funkykristi]

Hi thanks for your response. I discussed his situation last night with him. I saw a psychologist years ago it was 7 or 6 years ago via the mental health plan. I remember being out of pocket maybe 70 dollars each visit but my partner says its not like that anymore and he is out of pocket by over $100 each time he sees someone. Has it really changed so much recently??

[Former-Member]

Hi @funkykristi
I had 12 free counseling sessions through Carers Australia.
Your GP might be able to recommend s psychologist that bulk bills. I see s clinical psychologist that does.
You can also google psychologists that bulk bill and can look up their profiles on the Aust Psychology Association website. You can filter for carer support.
Darcy

[Shaz51]

Hello @funkykristi, wondering how you are going today ,