Lived Experience Forum

[Faith-and-Hope]

I am guessing he fees a need to make it on his own @Teej ..... and that might be something he needs to revisit at some time ..... part of his personal journey ......

I find it helps to share what you have learned with them when the time is right .... but better as “I statements” ..... “It was hard, but I learned that I didn’t have to do it on my own .... that it was okay to reach out and ask for help ..... it matters .... I matter .... “ and see what he takes away from it for himself.

Not all lessons have to be spelled out .... some can exist as subtle influences.

[Teej]

is lots of unrelated stuff.....but for now the big c word is on my mind as I know that there is a chance although low. Dr google today told me that putting some of the things I’ve been told mean it’s a possibility but not a probability. I feel kind of strange in that I don’t know what to feel. Tomorrow I find out where in the statistics I’ll am positioned. I have a strange feeling that everyone around me is dealing with big life stuff too. I panicked that  there was something wrong with my therapist. Luckily she responded with that she had injured herself but was ok. Sometimes spidey senses suck. 

Tonight I’ve been pondering if it’s bad news what to do, or who to tell or not to tell. My gut says to hide it from family. It’s the first time I’ve had to think about this as an issue. What are the reasons people don’t tell loved ones. Is it easier for them or not to not know. Does knowing create more or less emotional pain for everyone involved. I’m seriously not expecting bad news but it got me thinking about this stuff. Do people not tell because it’s seen as a weakness to tell? 

Anyway enough dribble for now. I just wanted to air some thoughts. A bit like the worry room although I am happy to hear anyone’s thoughts on my questions. I am doing ok mentally so am not in need of that support. 

[Teej]

On my mind today...

...is the realisation that I fear my emotions. How do you overcome fear of emotion? 

...and I am angry at the world which means I’m angry at me. I hate this feeling. It’s always so destructive and I’ve been trying all day to let it pass but it sucks. 

....I am feeling selfish and unworthy of human contact. I will just hurt someone if they have contact with me.  

😩😕😖🤬🤭🤯

What is the f**king point of living? 

[thecolourblue]

Hi @Teej 

I'll be sending you a check-in email just to touch base.

Regards, thecolourblue

[CheerBear]

Hey @Teej. In lots of ways I fear my emotions too, the big ones at least. I don't like them, I don't want them, and I want them to go away. I think that contributes to a bit of that volcano insides we can have sometimes maybe. Implode vs explode fight - it's tricky to live with.

I'm thinking you might not be far from switching off but am here and listening if you're around. You're worthy of human contact, though I get that it doesn't feel like that right now.

Lots of ❤

[Teej]

I didn’t want you to see this @CheerBear because I didn’t want you to have a chance of feeling dragged down when you were experiencing some really good stuff.

And yes I’ll be switching off soon. I haven’t for quite a while. But I can’t be me tonight either. Please don’t worry. I’ll pop up again like I always do. 

[CheerBear]

I'm not dragged down by you @Teej. Your post resonated with me for a couple of reasons, one being that I was holding on tightly to that great stuff from earlier in a sea of sadness that I don't want to feel. Feelings kind of suck.

I won't worry about you because I know you'll do whatever you need to do to get through, like you always do. But I did want to reply to let you know I'm sitting with you.

I will look forward to seeing you pop up when you do. Your you-ness is great Teej. I'm sorry you have these times when it feels really sucky to be you.

[Teej]

💜 @CheerBear 

[CheerBear]

On my mind today is a friend who might be in for a rough day. I found this one this morning and thought of her.

I hope your group is OK enough @Teej💗