Lived Experience Forum

[Ali11]

Sorry for the confusion @BlueBay  More like if you were writing to a group of friends and telling them how life is like for people with MI, even if that's only a brief "It can be difficult to connect with friends so here are some of the ways friends can help...", and the best ways they could support? Even if you don't share it with friends in real life yourself, maybe it could be a resource on here for people to share with their friends? Resources to help friends of people with MI aren't easy to find and we're sure a lot of people would appreciate it 

[BlueBay]

Ok I get it now @Ali11 

I need to sit down and think  I’ll ne back soon with something. Good idea 😊

[BlueBay]

@Ali11 @BryanaCamp @greenpea @Owlunar @Shaz51 @Gazza75 @oceangirl @MDT and others I have forgotten 

Letter to my friend:

Having you as a friend means more to me than anything. We can share our journey together. To go through each other’s happiness, sadness and grief. To share thoughts and opinions. To share a cuppa or a glass of wine or two!! A friend is there to help out physically and mentally. Support each other in times of need.

I have a mental illness. Diagnosed with ptsd from childhood sexual abuse; depression, anxiety and borderline personality disorder.

It’s difficult to connect with friends when I’m so down in that dark hole. I want to hide away from life. The motivation is a real struggle. To do anything basic is hard and an effort.

At times all I want to do is shut myself from this world. Don’t want to see or speak to anyone.

At times when struggling mentally all I would love is for you to be there. To sit with me on the floor, to feel your arms around me. I want to feel safe around you. Sometimes you just need to not say a thing. Your presence is enough.

Sometimes it’s nice to receive a text just saying “hi how are you “ or “let’s catch up for a coffee”.

I know you have your own life, you’re busy and time just goes by so quickly.

But we can’t forget our friends.

I would do anything for you. Sit with you, cry and laugh with you. But more importantly I would be there for YOU.

I would drop everything to support you no matter if it’s a physical illness or injury or a mental illness. There is no difference.

Friends are forever. It’s a strong bond between two people. Never forget your friend 

❤️❤️💐🙏❤️❤️

[Owlunar]

That's a good letter @BlueBay 

You write very well - you have put together a piece that could be published in a woman's magazine and it does explain what you need and what you are prepared to give - it's very open - and it's honest

I don't have close friends either - I am in touch with my daughter and my grand-daughter and I have my regular domestic and shopping help. I go to my medical clinic twice a week and the local shops where people know me and I get along well with everyone - 

But friends - no - I open up with people here and with a couple of my regular workers but apart from that I am alone and luckily that's okay with me -

My parents moved us around a lot when we were young. They never asked us if we wanted to go to the same schools - just uprooted us - I tended to put my emotional energy into making new friends rather than keeping up with people I would never and never did see again. Then I worked in the city for years and just didn't keep in touch

I had friends at church but I left the church - I still have my faith but there came a time when I found it too hard to go because of something that had happened there - 

However I am okay with my life and find I have plenty to do at home. The man from My Aged Care who assessed my situation wrote that I am socially isolated and that annoyed me because I don't feel that way - my days are full of reading, writing, internet access and playing the piano - I'm never bored or lonely 

There are times when I wish I had a buddy - I have done in the past but things fell apart - chronic pain can be as hard for other people to understand as Mental Illness - people say the same kind of things that seem unkind though I don't think they are meant to be.

Anyway - what I did learn and put into practise for my kids was that we didn't move around - they asked us not too and we listened to them - to this day my daughter has her friends from school and I am glad she does - 

And I am okay with my life - when I travel people are amazed that I am travelling alone - it would be great to have someone to travel with but honestly I have learned to be alone and like it - I am into making my own decisions about what to do and when to do it

But this is me - my earlier years were not easy - still have tough bitzpiecez though life - but I am really fine most of the time and like it

Dec

[BlueBay]

Thankyou for your kind words @Owlunar 

Sometimes @Owlunar I wish I was alone. Just make decisions for myself 

i never had friends growing up. Was never allowed any to come home to play. 

My daughter has a prep friend that are still best friends. So nice to see. 

I wish I had a friend like that. 

Oh well. 

[Shaz51]

ohhh my sister @BlueBay sending you hugs , that was a good letter

I don't have close friends either and my so called friends , I had lost when i married mr shaz , which is very sad xxx

[BlueBay]

Hi @Shaz51 

I know it’s terrible when you lose your friends especially when getting married. 

I’m glad though thst I have lots of friends here. ❤️❤️

[Shaz51]

same here my darling sister @BlueBay 

[Ali11]

What a powerful letter @BlueBay, you definitely put what we feel into words. You have such passion, loyalty and emotion that comes through. Those are such ideal traits in a friend.  

[BlueBay]

Thank you so much @Ali11 

that means a lot to me. 

What I wrote is straight from my heart. 

❤️❤️