Lived Experience Forum

[Awpgirl]

@rosey I emphasse so much with you. My family still rage at me for "making excuses for him" when the reality is that I don't know his reasons. I have had no closure; no option for reconciliation.
I know that I was very sick and still am. I can only guess he didn't want to deal with my behaviours which were partly due to medication partly due to the severity of my illness.
Please know that i am here to virtually hold your hand if that helps in any way.

[frog]

Thinking of you @Awpgirl

[frog]

@rosey I'm still not good at self care, but a lot better than I used to be! I need to put my health first and make time for that, e.g. a morning routine that sets me up for the day, including meditation and physio exercises to offset various aches and pains. Also granting myself little breaks in my day for headspace, like a short walk at lunchtime and, one I really haven't got sorted: a pause when I get home from work before launching into all the demands of home and kids. For a long time after the breakup, I was just focussed on surviving. My anxiety was crippling. I just wanted to escape it. And I was so bereft. At that time self care meant whatever it took to eat, sleep and get up in the morning.

I hope I didn't come across as preaching the art of letting go. My ex gave me absolutely no cause for hope but I just couldn't let go. It was an ugly, messy process and if I'm honest it still is. I had so  much invested in that relationship.I hope you can just give yourself permission to feel whatever it is that arises from hope to despair and everything in between. All those emotions are reasonable under the circumstances.

Take care.