Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Kreagor hoping that surgery will make a difference, depression is increasing. I feel very hopeful we can live well in spite of things, Mr Darcy on DSP now, reduced $ as I work but concessions really help. Cognitive issues with Mr D too ..

[Rae]

I really don't think I really understood how debilitating it is, went out today for only 1 hour, and had to take my husband back to the hospital as he wasn't coping. This is all new, I don't think I really realised how bad it all was. One day at a time seems to be the key at the moment, I really don't think I appreciated the struggles of others when you are consumed by your own. How brave are the carers who support, encourage and provide emotional support to those who struggle with simply living 🙏

[Kreagor]

@Rae
It's difficult, I was a nurse I thought I had it covered, but I was an acute care nurse and most of my patients were unconscious... So don't have it covered! What I do find most difficult is not taking complete charge of the situation, to be prescriptive. It's their journey (yes, mine too) but only they can walk the road I can't do it for him (as much as I would like to). And yes carers are great (I don't consider myself to be one - I prefer terms such as advocate or facilitator - I also know that if Mr K had to do it on his own, he could).
I do admire the strength of carers - always makes me think of that old song lol - he ain't heavy.
I hope things go well for you and your husband, it's small steps and sometimes two steps forwards and one step back.

[Rae]

Thank you, I feel like reading others journeys has made me begin to have a better understanding, but so "tip of the iceberg". My husband will forever be my best friend.. I will always be there for him no matter the outcome. I agree "carer" is an interesting term, it feels weird and wrong, I am his life partner in this journey, for every step forward or back we take, we take it togeather. Thank you 😊🤗

[Former-Member]

@Rae

The situations each of us carers find ourselves in are quite different as symptoms play out differently. What we do share is partners or loved ones with serious psychiatric diagnoses and we share many similar feelings such as helplessness, feeling overwhelmed, unappreciated and more.

Educating ourselves about the disorder and getting some carer support is vital. I went to a carer education snapshot class at Wellways, it was do helpful, applied the CHIME recovery method to carers
https://www.scottishrecovery.net/chime-diagram/

Wellways:
https://www.wellways.org/our-services/support-families-friends-and-carers

GROW have carer groups on the mainland
https://www.grow.org.au/carer-program/

Darcy

[Former-Member]

@Kreagor @Rae

I use the term "carer" for Mr Darcy's medical side of things as (with his consent) there are obligations that the public system has in relation to carers in relation to the giving of information. When things go into crisis as his enduring guardian I might be called upon to make decisions about his treatment so it is imperative I understand. Mr Darcy has been deemed to have lost capacity on a couple of occasions and has been the subject of a treatment order twice.

Darcy

[Chris3]

Totally relate, to me not so much the infidelity that hurts... It is all the BS that comes with it, the lost trust.... the lost love. I often feel like I will suffer from Stockholm syndrome... To have such power over another ... I will turn you into me

[Rae]

It breaks your soul 🙁 I think getting away is easily said than done. When you have surrendered all, the only thing to do is try to find yourself again. One day at a time... I know I have the strength to rebuild. 😊 We all do... it is difficult but I believe I can get there.. we all have the power and strength we just need to find our way through the darkness

[Former-Member]

Hey @Kreagor
Checking in to see how you are going.
Darcy

[Kreagor]

Hi Darcy
I'm ok, Mr Kreagor having denervation tomorrow, just one side, they'll schedule the next soon.
He is talking about returning to study - which would be great. But then it hit me, can I trust him to go? Can I trust him... No, I can't... I know it's stupid, everyday I know where he is - do I? This is tough - more time needed. He's so good at keeping things hidden... When he's manic - but then he's good at hiding that too.
Early days - I'm ok though.
How are you?