New here and struggling

[Lee71]

@NatureLover 

I actually have an appointment with a doctor in the morning.

Drawback she doesn't know me or my history . I don't know her so my anxiety is already high.

I'm not sure if I will feel comfortable telling her everything the first time we meet, the thoughts the stash I have again and so on .

[NatureLover]

Ohhhh no @Lee71 ...you have a stash? 😞

I understand the anxiety about seeing a new doctor. But well done for making the appointment. 

I will be keeping my fingers crossed that tomorrow you will feel able to at least tell her a little bit about what you're going through...

[Lee71]

@NatureLover 

Yea I do . I was on medication restrictions for a long long time. The anti depressant I started in November has been working well up until now. Few months ago I gave up my stash willingly and because I was somewhat stable was taken off restrictions

[NatureLover]

Can I ask...if you've got together a new stash, does that mean you've been skipping your medication sometimes since you were taken off restrictions? Or have you just been ordering extra?  @Lee71 

[Lee71]

@NatureLover 

I was able to get extra once off restrictions

[NatureLover]

@Lee71  I'm sad to hear this. I confess I don't understand why the chemist would give you more than your monthly meds...my chemist don't allow me to, even if I'm just a couple of days too early and it's only my diabetes meds. 

I'm hoping that even if you don't feel able to tell your new doctor tomorrow about your stash yet, that you'll feel able to tell her how unsafe and hopeless you've been feeling and how your current meds aren't doing the job any more.

[Lee71]

@NatureLover 

I'm not sure why the chemist did either.  Was the same chemist that I had restrictions. It's ok though. I have them now.

At the moment I'm planning on talking about increasing my medication with the doctor. Will all depend on how the night pans out

[NatureLover]

Do you mean whether you survive the night?? 😮 @Lee71 

I don't agree that it's OK you have your stash again...but I have been there. 

I'm glad that at this stage you're planning on talking about increasing your meds @Lee71 . This is a relief to me. But I'm still very worried about your safety.

[Lee71]

@NatureLover 

I'm not sure what to say. I'm safe at the moment.  Last night was tough, I hope tonight isn't like that

[NatureLover]

I really hope that tonight isn't like that either, @Lee71 . 

I really hope to see you here on the forums tomorrow, and be able to ask you how the doctor's appointment went. 

Can you maybe come on the forums in the night, if things are bad, and see who's around to talk to? There's also the Worry Room thread, under the Looking After Ourselves section. The forums are not a solution for when in crisis, but I know you know the emergency crisis numbers already...