Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

@Eden1919 , with how you have been treated of late it is no wonder you are finding it hard to trust people. Please be safe sweetie. Wishing I could help some more

[Eden1919]

@Former-Member  Thank you for replying again, I am trying I am just struggling but I don’t know how I will feel when it gets later and everyone is asleep, I just feel like there is no one I can contact if things are bad and I am too scared to contact someone because I just feel like it will make me feel even worse or they won’t understand or idk I just don’t know what to do but I am still really on edge and I am having trouble knowing when something is like bad enough to be unsafe and when it is bad but safe, like I am not sure what is what anymore especially because people keep sending mixed messages and I really can’t tell anymore. 

[Former-Member]

It is unsafe when you feel it is unsafe, no one else's opinion comes into play here sweetie. I know you struggle to communicate what is happening for you but honey you need to reach out if you are feeling unsafe. @Eden1919 

[Eden1919]

@Former-Member  But that is the problem I don’t know how I feel like right now I don’t know and things keep changing quickly and I can’t tell when something is happening until it is happening at the time so I don’t know. Like the other day when I ended up doing something I wasn’t even feeling like very sad I just felt well I don’t know. I am just really confused. 

[Former-Member]

I am sorry honey, it must so scary for you right now. Where are you ? @Eden1919 

[Eden1919]

@Former-Member  I am at home watching tv with my sister.... why? 

Well I’ll I am actually just sitting listening to music because I can’t focus on the tv. 

[Former-Member]

@Eden1919 , I was going to ask you about the room you are in. Trying if possible to to keep you talking with me and trying to keep you as safe as I can while I am around. But if you rather me let you be to watch tv with your sister I am fine with that too sweetie 

[Eden1919]

@Former-Member  I am sorry I don’t mean to make you feel like that is your responsibility or anything I am just really confused about when and how I am supposed to tell someone like I genuinely don’t know anymore and I thought I was doing the right thing by trying with the crisis team but they keep getting mad at me and seem to not think there is an issue so I am not sure if I am just wrong and this isn’t “bad enough” or if they are wrong and or don’t actually understand what I am trying to say so are responding to like false information, and then I also am confused because I don’t even know how I feel right now and I am not really good at making decisions right now especially when I am not even sure what is going on. Like I just want to know clearly when I need to tell someone and who and how am I meant to tell them. Idk I am just trying to figure out what is going on because I don’t know anymore. 

[Former-Member]

Honey, I know is not my responsibility but I am not just going to sit here and do nothing, say nothing. I can't really help you other than to keep you company right now. I really just want to make sure you are safe because whatever the reason you aren't getting the support you need right now. I wish I could give something that would make this easier for you. @Eden1919 

[Eden1919]

@Former-Member  I just feel guilty I don’t want to add to your own stress or worry you. I am really trying to be ok I am just feeling really confused today but I am trying really hard to be ok. I don’t know why everyone is not listening maybe I am not saying the right things but I am just struggling to speak I don’t know I thought I was being clear maybe I am not i just feel so weird. I am not saying you were saying I should know why. I actually don’t know where I am going with any of this paragraph sorry I am just going to stop there for this one.