Lived Experience Forum

[Eden1919]

@Former-Member  Thanks it was at the hospital when I fell asleep and it was for a while and I don’t know what happened and that makes me scared. I just don’t know what to say I would have to talk to the receptionist and last time they couldn’t hear me properly and I was shouting into the phone and it was horrible and I don’t even know what I am asking for and I have no idea what to even say and it is stressing me out. 

[Former-Member]

I feel you stress and anxiety about falling asleep at the hospital, not much help but would have to be my worst fear if I am being honest. Can you tell me what you might have to say to them? I know it's tough hun and there is absolutely no pressure here. When are you due to visit you psychiatrist next?

@Eden1919 , sweetie I wish I was able to help more 💛

[Eden1919]

@Former-Member  I have a phone appointment coming up but nothing in person which is practically useless anyway. I wasn’t able to ring them in time so now there is no chance of that anymore and the crisis team just showed up at my house and did the same thing as the other people and just left saying we will call in a few days but I told them I didn’t know if I would be here in a few days and they just said well what do you want then fml like I am so fed up so I told them not to talk to me again and now I feel even worse and honestly I feel like all of this is a that I just need to get it over and done with. I should have tried harder the other day I shouldn’t still be here now. 

[Jynx]

Hey @Eden1919, 

What I am sensing is that you're having trouble communicating at the moment - which makes sense given your situation. Sometimes just telling those who are helping you that your communication ability is quite impacted, and asking for a bit of patience can be helpful. You're doing great to keep holding on, and continuing to post here as well - we are all here with you 

I'm sensing that your situation has you extremely stressed and overwhelmed, maybe moreso than earlier today so I'm going to drop you an email as well. x

[Former-Member]

My darling you have showed incredible strength to be still holding on, incredible strength in continuing to  seek help and reaching out. I am truly sorry that you are really struggling to get the help you so desperately need and deserve. But please keep holding on, keep reaching out and know that we are here to support you as much as we can. @Eden1919 

[Eden1919]

@Jynx @Former-Member  I have told them several times that I am struggling to speak and they say they understand but then get mad at me 2 seconds later when I still haven’t managed to speak and say they are busy and have other things to be doing then they get mad and ask “well what do you want then?” In a very like irritated tone and I have told them I don’t know what I want and then they just say they can’t help then because I am not meeting them half way but I genuinely don’t know and I don’t want to make something up knowing it won’t be helpful but what else am I meant to say if I don’t know. Then they asked me if I was using my DBT skills like yes but they aren’t working and they don’t work for the things I am struggling with right now anyway and then they just said well sometimes things don’t work..... like yes I am well aware of that and that is the problem it isn’t working but I didn’t say that because i couldn’t speak and then they just said they were going and ugh I don’t even know what to do I am so stressed and like I don’t know what to do tonight idk everything is a mess. 

[Former-Member]

@Eden1919 , ohh I am so sorry they just seem to be listening to you. Are you safe my friend. 

[chibam]

Hi @Eden1919,

Sorry things have been so rough for you of late. I've been keeping tabs on the various govt. inquiries into the mental health system that are going on ATM and. sad to say, your experiance with the system sounds like par for the course.

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@Eden1919 wrote:

And how are you supposed to tell someone you are not ok when you are struggling to communicate and when people are not understanding you?

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What do I do? Frankly, I've just stopped trying. Not that I'm advocating for that approach, but I've found it to be the least counter-productive approach I can think of. God knows I've tried to get through to the world; I've even dumbed the language down to what I expect a kindergardener could understand so that there couldn't be any miscommunication. But nobody seems to ever understand and all to often, they act like I never said anything to begin with.

Often I think the problem isn't with our communication, but with theirs. If they really are right, and we really are nuts/mentally broken/disordered/confused/ect, then why don't they just simply give us their proof that backs up their position? Why is it all just a wham-bam-thankyoumam exercise in labelling us, disregarding our stances, and hardlining us into towing a differant ideology that they never once bother to back up with facts or logic?

If they really are right, why don't they just simply prove this to us?

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@Eden1919 wrote:

I wondered about private hospitals but there is only one in my area and it isn’t very good and I would consider interstate but it may not be possible considering the situation. But also I am not even sure if it would help I don’t know that anything will all I know is that I am not able to keep myself together right now even though I am trying very hard too. 

Um the question so if I well if you were in my situation and hospital where I live was traumatic and made things worse would you consider private even if it was also not good?

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I may be mistaken, but my understanding is that, ATM, there's really no such thing as a "pviate hospital". My understanding is that the govt. commandeered all the private hospitals in response to coronavirus and made them fair game for anyone who needs treatment until the crisis is over. So until that happens - private, public... it's all the same system (as is my understanding).

[Amour_Et_Psyché]

Hi @Eden1919 

I'm so sorry to hear about what happened in your phone appointment. It sounds like you are receiving mixed messages when you tell them you are struggling to communicate. On one hand they say they understand but on the other hand they have an angry tone asking you "what you want then?" That's an extremely confusing, unsettling and disheartening experience.  As @Former-Member asked, and given everything is a mess tonight, are you currently feeling safe?

Try to look after yourself @Eden1919! 

Kindest,

Amour_Et_Psyché

[Eden1919]

@chibam  They are doing that in America but not here... I do agree other people are having trouble with the crisis team and services in mental health in general but I guess I personally can’t fix that right now and it doesn’t really help my current situation also I would like to just stop trying but at the moment that means that I end up gone so idk. I know you weren’t saying that is the right thing to do it is just hard because I feel like I don’t have many options right now. But you are very right it is very frustrating and exhausting to have to try and make people understand who don’t seem to want too in the first place. 

@Amour_Et_Psyché @Former-Member  I am trying to be but idk I tried to tell my mum how I was but there wasn’t a good time and now she is asleep I just don’t know what to do I tried to write a bunch of stuff down on a note but everything is just such a mess and I am losing trust in people very very quickly.