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Worrying about nothing??

After a devastating marriage breakup, years alone, am in a relationship with a wonderful man who is an  alcoholic,  we are about to buy a house together and whilst the security is what I need it is a terryfying step. 

Since my husband left I've got out of the massive debts he left me by forging my signature and running everything into the ground. People ask how I was so gullible but when he told me things were paid I trusted him, he'd get angry if i questioned him,  but after 30 years together shouldn't you be able to trust somebody?

I'm about to hand over my entire savings so i hope so.......

My dr is extremely concerned my weight has plummeted recently, with physical symptoms now obvious, I'm terrified of where I'm heading again but with everything else feeling so out of control and frightening it feels like my anorexia is the only familiar thing and keeping me safe.

Really struggling 



Re: Worrying about nothing??

@Breeze  Hey Breeze just a word of caution be very careful marrying an alcoholic. My dad was a dysfunctional alcoholic and it drove my mothers finances into the ground. Please promise me that you will be very very careful with your money and yourself for that matter. From what you have said in your post you are having reservations as well.. Can I add that getting married wont give you security. I am single and am more secure than I have been in my life. Just be wary. peaxxx

Re: Worrying about nothing??

Not really sure of advice protocols here. New as well. So..


[Not a listened care provider or relationship guru]

You don't have to do blind transactions for spouse deposit any more. With netbanking these days you can lock funds so that both party must agree to moving them, per dollars if needed.

Comm bank I think is rightest sec.

I openly run malwares to tide over my boredom.

Not a single issue.


Also to hedge you saving against sudden collapse. Look into static interests savings accounts.

often there student accounts with basically free money.

Typically require ""full time"" enrollment. But dont fret.\

think My masters of programming was 6 hours a week.

Or only 1 & 1/2 if I entered online...Adult learning may also have benefits as it (Tafe courses).

Pro Tip.First semesters you have to be causing of lack of information to learn. 

So it may be a poket book page to read. And reading the same thing every 20 seconds will cause stress. But do it daily. Memory retention is espouse driven.

So if schoo is on the cards. You get a pretty good 4 year margin to erarn off a overdraft to about 10%-25% of the loan min.  So do you not only retsain a chunk of savings. But earn some postentally sizeable icome suplementing hours lost for education leave.



And I don't recommend ever joint accounting all income streams/savings as a permanent thing.

Not even if you were both preacher's.


Assuming there's two regular incomes. Just divvy the the regular payments to the most stable earner. And both have a good old fashion tick system measure by it's about that much. And Hmm I think lover might be short of play money, her have $X.

It's not a trust exercise. It's ust reason to interact with another.

If it just the drink he's into. then you should have evidence of spending.if a home drinker


The alcoholism can be a big problem nowadays. Especially price.

My father  was a soild slab a day. He's now around 8-12. because of it. And he earns good money.


If he drink for sake of drink. Try get get him into bloke hobbies that don't stop the flow.

Only have two hands but guys can't help but finish manly thing before enjoying a beverage.



Depending where you are. Some of the Mens ahead programs aren't exactly dry.

But the attendants are very nuanced in making edicate.learnt and respected without telling them they've had enough.


My local shed is a dry one unfortunately, and only wood work. shame I'm a welder.

Lucked out really. They just happen to be on  church grounds,


If there's underlying causes for the drinking. I'm hearing the sheds can sort it out rather quickly.


Social lubrication and a busywork to give an out till they're ready.



Re: Worrying about nothing??

Hi @Mange_N_Sane 


Thank you for expressing consideration and questioning what the protocols are around giving advice on the SANE Forums. Typically, professional medical, legal and/or financial advice is not allowed on the Forums. However, since you have explicitly stated that you are not coming from a professional stand point, your post does not directly breech our guidelines. If you would like to familiarize yourself with our Community Guidelines, please click this link.


However, just a note of caution, whenever offering suggestions on the Forums it is important to emphasize that such suggestions are based on your own point-of-view and/or experience; thus, other Forum members may have different ideas around what could be helpful. This encourages a member to choose what advice is/isn't best for them.


I hope this helps to clarify things @Mange_N_Sane.


Kindest Regards,


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