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20-03-2020 01:24 AM - edited 20-03-2020 05:31 PM
20-03-2020 01:24 AM - edited 20-03-2020 05:31 PM
The cost of walking away
I've been looking for a community of people who might understand what's happening to me because it is hard being different. I walked away from my distructive family, wishing that their feeling weren't so conditional because there really are no winners. I'm interested to hear how others have come to terms with having to separate from family. Thx
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20-03-2020 02:57 AM
20-03-2020 02:57 AM
Re: The cost of walking away
@Lexii Hi Lexii and welcome to the forums :). For me it was my dad. He was an awful drunk. I still have mixed feelings about him as one moment he could be fun then after drinking he could be spiteful ... he has been dead now for over 20 years now and I miss the good and try to forgive the bad times. No one is perfect .... I miss the man he could have been if it wasnt for the alcohol. greenpeax
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03-04-2020 10:46 PM
03-04-2020 10:46 PM
Re: The cost of walking away
Hi Lexii,
It's hard to walk away from something so "powerful and important" like family. I cut off my father about 2 years ago after working through EMDR involving my history of abuse with him. I had quite a strong trauma bond with him so making the decision and then sticking to it was incredibly difficult. I expereinced a lot of guilt, second guessing myself and a very odd willingness to put myself back into what I knew was a hurtful situation just to apologise to him and go back. I was incredibly privelged enough to have a good support system where I could communicate as much as I wanted or could about the circumstance and have the support of those people. I/we/they reached out to him a few times to him but I had to remain strong. He was persistant. Thankfully he no longer is. The freedom that comes afterwards was thrilling and confusing for me too. I hope you have a good support network to help you through this journey. Good luck.
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28-04-2020 05:29 AM
28-04-2020 05:29 AM
Re: The cost of walking away
I wish I had that option, but I have no one else to go to.
When you get right down to it, my real problem isn't that I've always had monsters in my life. My real problem is that I've never had any heroes.
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29-04-2020 01:22 PM
29-04-2020 01:22 PM
Re: The cost of walking away
Hi @Lexii just wondering how you are going now the dust has settled from your decision to separate from family? It can be hard to have a clear perspective on it all right after the fact. It can take a long time before you can truly see all the benefits of walking away. Let me know if you want to talk, I can definitely relate to your post and I'm here to offer an ear