im back..... i think

[outlander]

yes i know about the friend thing and it makes sense @Anony18 but at the moment i have no one on the outside world

i like knowing my forum family is here for me to though most of the time i feel bad for asking for help when i know many people are struggling more than i am

yeah it was very painful and im still paying for it now unfortunately and you were the one keeping me company today lol. you have been helping me all day and that i cant thank you enough for

and that doesnt sound creepy at all when i go to scary gp appointments i think of you guys with me as well

and i try to avoid you if im going to throw up so i dont get it all over you guys 😉

i think you should go, it sounds like an great experience esp if you feel connection to the songs as well

[Anony18]

I can imagine how tough it can be @outlander. I am quite lucky I have a great best friend who knows me for who I am and know how to talk to me. I have alot of close friends but I don't tell them much as I know the words they use isn't the "right" ones even if they mean it in the best way. 

Don't ever feel bad for asking for help. We are all here on forums support each other. All of us are struggling and that is all that really matters. It is our struggles that helps us be here for each other and probably better at times than a physical human being can be.

Am pleasured and glad to keep you company today. Lucky thing is my bosses are away so I been having a lazy day haha. I have to say thanks to you. Keeping you company has been such a highlight that I have not felt "sad" about my situation today. I know that could change soon enough. 

Yes I am planning to go but am waiting for pay day in couple weeks. Have spent quite a bit haha! Just bought a star wars jumper online after lunch 

Well my friend I am actually off to get ready to have dinner and go to movies with my best friend now. It is my self-care for what has happened this week. Going to watch Guardians of the Galaxy 2. I will be gone for a good 6 hours so I will check up on you if you are up later tonight. Hopefully you aren't up and are resting well xx

[Anony18]

Hi @outlander - just seeing how you are. Hope you are asleep. But if you are not, am here 🤗

[outlander]

Goodmorning @Anony18
Thanks for checking in last night well this morning
I did try to get to sleep by 1am my time so wouldve been around 3 for you since your in wa
How are you today??

[Anony18]

Hi @outlander - would have been 11 here...think we are behind you guys hehe. Glad hear you are well this morning. I am ok. Didn't sleep much. Got to bed around 2.30am. Busy packing for Canberra and all. Woke up feeling anxious slightly not sure what about...maybe work the tasks need get done or paranoia about this job that it's not permanent role and worst that maybe I ain't going to get it and my positivity going come crashing down as given they asked me get police clearance I am having real high hopes that I got it. 

[outlander]

Oh yes your behind me lol @Anony18
Did you have fun at the movies last night?
How are you feeling now?

Stress can cause anxiety even in sleep so that couldve been it as well. There doesnt always have to be a reason for anxiety though unfortunately

Why are you going to canberra? Holiday?

[Anony18]

I make that mistake all the time. All this different time zones in this country. And WA does not do daylight savings so even more confusing!!!

Had great time. Movie was funny. Baby groot was so cute. Slightly anxious still but am ok. 

Yeah I think I have stress dreams or something as I don't sleep that well. Have trouble staying asleep most times. 

Yup mum wants cover all of Oz so Canberra is the last one her list. Free flights so won't complain. She will ask about my now friend but I don't think I will tell her the truth because I don't want explain why and hear her talk about not to worry and pray for best. I have my faith but I know isn't what I need hear right now. I prob tell my family and friends when things subside and I am ready. For now only a few people know. 

[outlander]

Oh gosh thats confusing @Anony18
Maybe you could speak to your gp about aome sleeping tablets to help you get a good sleep. Sleep is very important
Yeah im.not too sure about what to say about your now friend. Maybe dont meantion it unless she does but dont stress just be confident with your decision and your handling it as best you can ❤❤❤💪💪💪💪

[Anony18]

Yeah a friend of mine told me I should go see a sleep doctor @outlander 

Oh I am not intending on mentioning my now friend at all. But I know she will ask which I will just act like everything is ok and plotting along fine. I have been good at that the past few days with people. Think it helps that we ended amicably and I know the reason isn't because he didn't love me or want to be with me but more his MI and he needed to sort that out first. The reason I withhold is because if I tell her that he has severe MI issues she will say things like "he should pray and have faith in God and everything will be ok!" I remember when I told her how his dad suddenly passed 4.5 years ago and his mum isn't handling her response was "If only I knew her and then I could help her with faith and she would be fine".

She has said the same thing about my uncle. He has lost his only son to leukemia, his only brother (my dad) to cancer and now he is a carer for my aunt who has dementia and is on a walking stick from a fall. Mind you my uncle is stubborn to get help from Centrelink etc. But he mentioned to her that Anzac day was the loneliest he ever felt. She told me and said "If he trust in God he shouldn't feel lonely". Mind you my uncle goes to mass everyday. 

Don't get me wrong I have faith and I love her and she has the best intentions but I think it isn't as easy as that. 

[outlander]

I think i just did the wrong thing and maybe made my situation worse @Anony18