Lived Experience Forum

[Appleblossom]

@Former-Member 

piece of fruit ... ??

Anger is generated in response to an initial harm or violation. Maybe with the anger you are protecting others, by turning it within.  Its incredibly difficult to walk the line, where we do not act out on others OR turn it against the self.  In a world that disapproves of anger, it can be a feat just to admit that we feel it sometimes.  

I have had a huge reservoir of anger. Atm I hope? I am better at channeling it productively into energy for activities.  I see it as a biological response and a skill more than a moral failing or quality.

I wish you the best of healing.  I am not sure whether meditation or mondfulness help.  We are all different and respond to strategies in our own unique manner.

[saturnzoon]

Evening @Former-Member @BlueBay @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar

My psychologist has been doing special training all last week on a new treatment out for helping people that have gone through abuse and trauma that we have blocked out and sometimes may come in bits in our dreams and she said that she thinks it will help me.

I  know before she said that i needed to think about maybe starting to look through some things that happened when i was younger as it has an affect on me now and how part of my life is and my anxiety kicked in big time as i still don't remember what had happened when i was young and I'm really scared to find out what had happened cause I believe that if we don't remember something then our minds have blocked it as a protection for us and maybe it could make our lives worse, 

I don't know, what do you all think where something has happened to you, that you dont remember and that this new treatment was offered to you, that can help us deal with it. 

I will find out exactly what this treatment  is and involves and will let you all know

[Former-Member]

Good morning @saturnzoon

i feel for you and I know how intimidating it can be with a new kind of therapy. Have you got a good relationship with your therapist? 

There is book I read at the beginning of my journey Babette Rothschild - 8 Steps to safe Trauma Recovery. I can recommend this book, and one part is ‘remembering is not required’. Another thing I found very helpful is talking to the Blueknot helpline.

i am in trauma therapy, as far as I know it’s a lose mix of psychotherapy (that’s what I started with), DBT and Schema. I think it’s often a combination of several. Took a while to find some that worked. A lot triggered me or were not helpful. 

To talk about trauma memory, I don’t have to remember every detail and I wouldn’t agree with that personally as what I’ve rembereded so far is more than enough to cope with. 

I’m not gonna sugar coat it, it’s tough. 

Make sure to seek help and support and inform yourself about therapy.

Keep writing and please take care of yourself! 

[Former-Member]

Sorry all, not coping too well. Will take a break from forum. Take care all.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Take care of you @Former-Member .... will be thinking of you.

[Appleblossom]

Thanks for letting us know @Former-Member  I will remember you.

I am glad that you do have decent psychotherapy.  I have read and done therapy on and off for 30 years and it has taken that long to get any sense of the cause and effect of core aspects within my personality related to the trauma.  ie Why I do the things that I do and consequences.

Sending you support on your journey. You can do it.

[BlueBay]

Take care @Former-Member

will be thinking of you. 

BB Xxoo 

[Owlunar]

Hi @saturnzoon

About remembering things - we may come across them in therapy - or not

Or those memories might come out in a very public moment as they did to me - and depending on us as individuals I can't possbibly say which is preferable but either way - it's traumatic

For most of my life I had something in my chest - like a mine - a 3D star with spikes everywhere and it hurt - it would come to me in dreams I could not remember - it came to me in time when I was trying to work things out about my mother and some years ago now I was talking to a kind and understanding social worker about this and I told her I didn't want to remember and tried to put it aside

But the elephants in the room grow from memories brushed under the carpet and this happened at my mother's funeral with every talking about how wonderful she was and I knew differently - I would have run out of the chapel but two relatives held me down and I thought I would vomit - I cried as I remembered abuse from her I had forgotten

The next few days were terrible - and I was put onto a pychologist and yet it was weeks before I got around to finally telling her what I remembered and I still can't write what I remembered and I find it really hard to tell a therapist - and that was really hard to do - and I don't plan to tell anyone else because my life has become much easier since my mother died and that terrible memory came out

But it is up to the individual - how badly do you want to know? How sick is the secret from yourself making you feel?

We have to make up our own mind here - or maybe it's a case of waiting and seeing.

But that secret inside me was there for about 70 years and I was never happy with the feeling of that mine in my chest and I have so much relief with it gone

So Saturn - you need to think about it - how bad are your repressed memories making your feel? And do you feel you have enough support to deal without them coming out

Suppressed memories are memories we know we have - we choose to ignore them

Repressed memories are memories we have no idea we have - they are terrible though - and we have no control over them

I do wish you the best

Dec

[Former-Member]

@Faith-and-Hope @BlueBay @Dec @Appleblossom @saturnzoon

Good morning, happy Monday.

I’ve got nothing good to say and am in a pretty dark place, but safe.

Just checking in with you all. Take care.

[Former-Member]

Good morning, happy Monday.

@Owlunar @BlueBay @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @saturnzoon

I’ve got nothing good to say and am in a pretty dark place, but safe.

Just checking in with you all. Take care.